Merry Christmas

I'm off until Friday so I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday!

Dubya Tee Eff???

It was 70 degrees yesterday! I was wearing flip flops! Today...snow. Global warming, Al Gore??

Daydream Believer

I guess you could say I was straight. I'm mostly attracted to men although I have little "girl crushes" on certain chicks.

Last Saturday, I woke up for some ungodly reason at 6:30am and couldn't go back to sleep.
I got up and walked the dogs, made coffee and read for a while.
By 9:30 or 10, I got so sleepy that I decided to take a nap.

I'm not sure if everyone experiences this but whenever I sleep during the day, I have strange dreams. Sometimes really strange dreams.

On this particular day, I dreamed that I was making out with Heidi Klum. Which would be cliche if I were a man.
And it wasn't like spin the bottle type kissing. We were TOTALLY making out and just as we were rounding third base, my cell phone rang.
It was a text message from Adam.
I don't even remember what he wrote because all I could think about was "Holy shit! I was making out with Heidi Klum!!"
I replied to Adam with: "Dude, you just totally interrupted me and Heidi Klum gettin it on!!"

Damn right he felt bad!

Packing Heat

After last minute grocery shopping and elbowing elderly folks out of my way, I'm prepared for Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow, I'll be cooking a corn casserole made with fresh cornbread and sour cream and a wild rice and goat cheese dressing.
Right now I'm all about the goat cheese. I will eat it with almost anything and LOVE it.
There will be two fried turkeys and one baked, plus all the typical Thanksgiving accoutrement.

This year I'm most thankful for our right to bear arms and to prove it, I'm going to ask Santa Claus for a handgun.

I've decided that a single women living alone needs something between her and a potential bad guy. What if someone forced their way into my home? What will I do, throw my cell phone at him after I failed at dialing 911?
My phone is called a razr but it probably wouldn't cut anyone.

Don't worry, firearm experts, I'll take a class so I won't shoot myself in the foot or other precious body parts!

Now, the real question is...what to get? I suppose I should choose quality over beauty but wouldn't a pink pistol be the cutest??

Happy Thanksgiving!

Confessional

Ok, so I have to confess something...
I guess about a year or so ago I read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.
I was sucked in (no pun intended!) by it. Loved the characters, loved the drama, loved the star-crossed lovers, etc.
All of us at work became HUGE Twilight fans and couldn't wait to read the rest of the books in the series.
Then we tittered like school girls when we found out they were making a movie.

Yes, I was one of those silly girls in line for the movie Friday night but thankfully, I wasn't giggling and woohooing when Edward came into view or texting all my friends, giggling and whispering during the movie. Also, my mother didn't come and take pictures of me and my friends in the theater while we watched the commercials. (?!!)

I judged the movie rather harshly because I loved the book so much. I noticed every difference and remembered all the back stories that you don't get to know when you're watching the movie.
But, for a movie based on a wildly popular book, it was pretty good.
I hate to say this about an actor but I thought Kristen Stewart ruined the character of Bella.
She spoke in a horrible monotone and kept the exactly same facial expressions throughout the entire movie.
I don't know if this is her acting style or if this is the way she interpreted the character but it was awful.
I'm hoping she'll learn some inflection before the sequel.

It doesn't really matter, though. I'll be standing in line anyway.

MLB Playoff Action

Well, just because the Astros aren't playing post season baseball doesn't mean it's all over.
I have been pulling for the Phillies and last night they did it. They're going to the World Series!
I was so happy for them but also for my boy Brad Lidge who was traded at the end of last season by the Astros. Funnily enough, after leaving Houston, he had a near perfect season in PA.

Manny Ramirez of the Dodgers has got to be one of the biggest dickheads in the MLB.....second to Barry Bonds, of course. And as much as I wanted to see the Phillies crush his dread-locked head, part of me wanted to see the Dodgers and Red Sox at the WS.
I would love to see Man Ram hit a homerun in Boston, do his arrogant walk around the bases and watch the Red Sox fans go apeshit on his ass. Oh how delicious that would be...watching Boston fans ripping him apart!

I am pretty confident that it will be a Phillies vs Tampa World Series and they are pretty evenly matched so I'm looking forward to some good baseball.
Then I have a 5-6 month wait for the next opening day. Boo!

Last night, Fox miked Phillies center fielder, Shane Victorino. They would play sound bites every so often and he just seemed like a great guy who loves the game. Imagine that!
Anyway, Salon.com had an article about it. Go read.

iPod Stuff

Because I'm trying to "SWF" Sheila and she did it...I tried to do it but it was BORING.
Then she posted her shuffle list and that was cool so I decided to try it again.

I'm posting my iPod Top 25. Just keep in mind that although I listen to it in the car, I mostly listen to my iPod while I'm trying to fall asleep. For a few months I had a terrible time trying to sleep so I would put on some relaxing music and give it a try.
I suspect that's why all the classical music shows up. I can't explain the Iron Maiden...not really.

Werther: Pourquoi Me Réveiller - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Après un Rêve, Op. 7, No. 1 - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Vesperae Solennes de Confessore for Soloists, Chorus & Orchestra, K. 339: Laudate Dominum - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

None But the Lonely Heart, Op. 6, No. 6 - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

In Trutina from Carmina Burana - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Rusalka: Song to the Moon - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Anna Molly - Incubus Possibly NOT falling asleep music

L'Elisir D'Amore: Una Furtiva Lagrima - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Ave Maria - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Vocalise, Op. 34, No. 14 - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Rolling Earth - Coyote Oldman

Songs Without Words, Op. 62, No. 1: May Breezes - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Beau soir - Joshua Bell & Frederic Chiu

Le Monde - Thievery Corporation If you haven't heard of them, you must go download them NOW

Wasted Years - Iron Maiden Not exactly music to sleep by but it fucking rocks.

Six - Falling Asleep - Jesse and Jeane Stern The Meditation Podcast This really helps!

Siete Conciones Populares Espanolas: Nana (Bercuese) - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

O Earth, O Earth, Return - Bill Douglas

Estrellita - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Boot and Paisley - Al Gromer Khan & Kai Taschner

The Pearl Fishers: "Je Crois Entendre Encore" - Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra

Morgen! Op. 27, No. 4 - Anna Netrebko, Joshua Bell, Michael Stern & Orchestra
Après un Rêve, Op. 7, No. 1 - Joshua Bell & Frederic Chiu

U & Ur Hand - P!nk I bet no one has fallen asleep to this one

Mozart - Piano Concerto No. 21 In C Major: Andante

I'm Just Glad It's Over

The person I voted for didn't win. That's always a disappointment.

I think John McCain is a good man but maybe he doesn't deserve to be president. I think being President of the United States is a thankless job that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. No matter what the president does, it's never good enough and it never pleases everyone.
Everyone leaves office looking 40 years older, haggard and grey.
John McCain deserves to spend the rest of his days enjoying his life and his family. As president, you don't get much time for that.

You can't help but admire Obama's speech writer and Obama's speech-making abilities. He definitely gives good speech.
But, I don't want the government telling me what the hell to do with my own hard-earned money and I don't want to be the one paying for other people to sit on their asses so if that's what we have to look forward to with Obama as president; I'm hoping that he will, at best, be ineffectual.

A few days ago I jokingly said to someone that I hope Obama wins just so I could tell everyone that voted for him "I told you so" when he failed.
However, I realized this morning that I want to believe the things he says about our country.
I want him to mean what he says and I want him to succeed in making our country a better place.
Naive? Maybe. Hopeful? I don't know...I think I might have a little hope left.

So Sad....

I could be talking about the post-Ike clean-up and recovery but I'm really talking about the end of baseball season.

Oh sure, it's playoff time and I'll be watching it but the Astros finished 3rd and there are no prizes for that.
Adding to our misery was the fact that Brad Ausmus played his final game in an Astros uniform. He was one of my favorite players (and hottest) and will be missed.

I also went to Galveston on Saturday. Piper has had an ear infection for a while but her vet was located in Galveston. I didn't know how they fared until I called on Friday and they were open and seeing patients!
They are precariously close to the seawall but they were high enough to only get water in the basement.
I took Piper in Saturday morning and we got to witness the carnage ourselves on the way there.
Straight up Broadway, there were piles and piles of debris all along the road. Business and homes...none were spared. Everyone had to scoop out what was left of their first floor and leave it on the side of the road.

What was most shocking to me was the causeway. We all saw the pictures of the boats that washed up onto the road but seeing it first hand was something entirely different.
These giant yachts, sailboats and fishing boats were carried by the surge onto the causeway! It was unbelievable. I was so shocked on the way there, that I didn't have my camera out, ready to take pics. On the way back, the traffic was too heavy for me to get a decent shot. This was the best I could do:

I hit the Strand district, which has always been a favorite of mine. Up until just a few weeks before Ike, I spent my weekends scouring antiques stores in that area.

This is where the Balinese Room use to be:

Click here to see what it used to look like.

And here.

Galveston is rebuilding, though. People were working hard on Saturday and slowly but surely life is coming back to the Island. It's not dead...it's just slightly crippled.

Ike II

When the worst part of the storm was over, I was dying to go outside and survey the damage. However, I couldn't open my front door because the wind was still gusting and blowing rain right into my apartment each time I tried to open the door.
So, we sat in the sticky humidity with cool, wet wash cloths over our faces.
It was over for us but Houston was still getting hit and the only reason I knew things were bad in Galveston was that reporters had ridden out the storm on the island and they reported things like The Balinese Room was gone and I actually heard them on the radio, being evacuated to lower floors at the San Luis Hotel.

After some time passed and I could open my front door without flooding my living room, I ventured outside to see what it looked like outside.
The first thing I saw was a City worker in a front-end loader clearing fallen branches and debris from the street. The worst of the storm had been over less than an hour and they were already out clearing things out. Amazing.
We were lucky at the apartments, there were tons of branches down and one tree was uprooted in the back but it fell away from the building.

My mother began to obsess about her house. Did it survive?

I told her to wait a while; wait until we know the streets are safe to drive. But she couldn't wait. She was almost in tears wondering.

I walked outside to check down the roads, maybe they were clear enough to drive. That's when I saw my apartment manager pull into the parking lot.
I asked her where she came from. She had been staying at her son's house which is near my mother's neighborhood and she declared the streets clear so I ran upstairs and told my mother to pack her shit and stop blubbering. I was taking her home.

This was our chance to see our town for the first time after Ike came through and it was pretty shocking.
Signs, fences, trees and stoplights littered the sides of the roads.
There didn't seem to be a fence standing in town and the stoplight poles were bent backwards in some places.

Her house was standing. She lost part of her rain gutters and a tree that my dad had planted years ago. Her house totally stood up to that big storm and we knew how lucky we were.

Ike III

There are so many (SO MANY) people who lost everything and many more lost their lives (although officials are keeping the true death toll a secret).
My family are truly the lucky ones and somehow this terrible storm brought us closer together.
Sister #1 and #3 weren't speaking before this happened. The night of the storm #1 called #3 and told her that if she died tonight, she didn't want to die knowing #3 hated her so she apologized. #3 said she could NEVER hate her and things were going to be ok.
My niece and I weren't speaking either (same reason my sisters weren't speaking) but this situation totally erased all of that.
Suddenly, we all needed each other and we all came together.

I was the first person with power so I opened my tiny apartment to everyone. They came to soak up the air conditioning and watch the horrible pictures on the news. In the mornings, I made coffee and breakfast for everyone.
When the first donut shop opened on Monday, we bought 2 dozen donuts and fed everyone.

I shoved as much food from everyone as I could in my small refrigerator and freezer and what didn't fit, I took to Sister #2's house (she had power). She had evacuated and hadn't come back yet, but luckily I had a key.

Those are the stories that we're getting out of this hurricane business. Families and neighbors coming together and helping one another. When you have no power, damaged property and an uncertain future, that's pretty much all you have: one another.

To me, it seemed FEMA and the Salvation Army were here almost immediately. The media, though, started hammering away at Chertoff and other officials, asking why it took 24 hours to get from Austin to Houston. It's a good question but I have a question for those who didn't evacuate and didn't lose their homes.
Why didn't you have bottled water and supplies?
We never had to stand in line for anything because we were prepared. We all had full tanks and several days worth of water and food.
I can understand if your home was wiped away but there were miles and miles of cars in line for free food, ice and water.

I can't stop thinking about the cities of Galveston, Crystal Beach and Bolivar. These are places that have always been near and dear to my heart. I learned to drive on Galveston Island in a green Camaro. I took countless rides on the ferry from the Island to Bolivar. Years ago, my friends Julie, Jeff, Brad and I got a wild hair and drove through Bolivar one night looking for something we weren't sure existed. For some reason we kept driving and ended up in Winnie at 4 am.
We had no plan and nowhere we had to be; we just drove down the coast, never once imagining that one day it would all be gone.
I'm sure that's how the people who lived on Bolivar felt. Sure, it's a possibility when you live in the Gulf Coast but who really imagines it?

I wish I could say I was done with the Texas Gulf but this is where my family lives. It might take more than big bad Ike to run me off.

There used to be buildings and structures that lined the Texas City Dike. Now there is nothing

This amazed me....all the boats that washed up on the causeway to Galveston Island.

pics ruthlessly stolen from Galveston Co. Daily News

Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes...

ok it's not so dramatic...but I am back.

Most homes around town don't have power yet but I work in a different town and the damage wasn't quite so severe.
We have power and internet and I expect to be inundated with FEMA applicants.

Most of my family are still living without power but they all have generators now.
My mother is still staying with me and we are all so much more fortunate than many others.
Although, my mom had to have her dog, Casey put down two days ago. He had been diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, but seemed to be doing ok. We thought he had more time but the stress of the hurricane, having to live in my apartment for a few days and the heat when we were without power took it's toll on him. It's a tough thing to deal with in the midst of all of this.

I'm sure you've all seen the pictures of the devastation on the news. I can't even tell you how it breaks my heart. These are places that I've known all my life. These are places where I've visited as early as last week.
I just can't believe they are gone. Whole towns: gone.

Right now officials are saying there are only a handful of deaths. This information is wrong and misleading.
I have heard with my own ears from search and rescue officers that the inter coastal waterway is littered with bodies.
There were people who either didn't evacuate or tried to get out too late. Where are those people now?
The government isn't saying. They denied the media access to these communities for so long. They will have to fess up sooner or later and then explain why they hid this information from us.

I'm ok, though. Thanks for all of your thoughts and messages. It was the scariest thing I've ever been through and I won't do it again.
I will admit right here and now that I was wrong for not leaving and I will get the fuck out of here by the time the next storm leaves the coast of Africa!

I will tell the whole story soon but I just don't have the time or energy right now.

Surviving Ike

Thursday, September 11, 2008:
This was the 7th anniversary of the worst attack on American soil. It’s a day that no one will ever forget but those of us in our area couldn’t really acknowledge this day because we were preparing for Hurricane Ike.
We kept watching the hurricane online and on TV. No one was certain of the strength at landfall or exactly WHERE this thing would land.
We felt certain it would be a Category 2 and some even said it would weaken to a 1 by the time it made landfall.
They kept mentioning the storm surge. I can’t really remember hearing so much about a storm surge before.
My city is completely surrounded by a levee that’s between 15 and 20 feet above sea level. We felt safe and even our city officials felt safe. They were making automated phone calls to the citizens declaring that they weren’t recommending evacuations.
It always makes me a little nervous waiting for a hurricane but I felt pretty confident we would be spared.
I took all the precautions at work to keep my computers safe and left early to take care of things at home.

Friday, September 12, 2008:
The city made another automated phone call and instead of saying they didn’t recommend evacuations, they said, “It looks like we will take a direct hit. Follow your family plan.” What the FUCK does that mean?

I knew I’d make sure that my mother and I were together during this storm but the question was where. Her house is pretty sturdy and has held up against several hurricanes in the past but she is not even a mile from the levee and I worried about storm surge.
I’m on the second floor so I wasn’t worried about rising water but I was worried about wind.
I talked it over with one of my sisters and we decided it would be best to ride out the storm at my mother’s house.

I packed up my pictures and other breakables, wrapped them in plastic and put them in a central location. If my place collapsed, maybe I could find them all in the rubble.
I took what I couldn’t live without (including my cat and dogs) and made it to my mom’s house by noon.

We watched the news, NOAA’s website and answered numerous phone calls. All they talked about was the storm surge and we watched on the news as even as early as 1pm, the surge was coming in.
This made me nervous. The storm was 12 hours away and things were flooding….and it wasn’t raining. This isn’t good.

I made the executive decision to move us all to my second story apartment around 2pm.

So, I packed my things and dogs (and cat) in my car; my mother’s things (and dogs) in her car and we convoyed back to my apartment.
My mother is almost 70 and the stairs are so hard for her so I sent her upstairs and I made the numerous trips up and down the stairs bringing our things in.
By this time it was pretty windy and it had begun to rain.
I got us settled in and we waited….the two of us….and 5 dogs and my cat.

We watched the news the rest of the afternoon, both of us nervous.
Our phones rang incessantly. My sisters called both of us a million times and my friends were texting and calling to check on me.

The wind steadily picked up as the night went on, shaking my bedroom window which faces the north. It was taking the brunt of the wind.

As the sun set, we grew more and more nervous, wishing this damn storm would just hurry and get here.

Around 9pm, it started to really rain and that north wind drove it straight into my window. It started to leak so I got thick towels and shoved them in the window sill.

An hour later, the two towels were drenched so I got two more but less than 30 minutes later they were dripping water onto the carpet.
I took those towels away and grabbed an old blanket to use instead.
I got that shoved into the window sill and turned away to ask my mother, who was sitting on the bed, what I should do.
At that very moment everything exploded. It sounded like the loudest shotgun blast.
The window had blown out. Large sheets of glass flew at me and hit me. Thankfully, I had already pulled my nightstand away from the window so all I had to do was move it out further.
I suddenly found myself in business mode. I instructed my mom to get the dogs out of the bedroom and into the living room and close the door.
I remembered that I had two extra boards in my closet that were actually shelves to my entertainment center that I never installed.
I grabbed the biggest one and put it in front of the window and just held it there to keep more glass, wind and rain from coming in.
The problem was that the board was too small and I had no way to nail it in. So, I just stood there holding it against the slamming wind, wondering to myself, “What the hell do I do now?”
I yelled to my mom that I needed help and suddenly the world went dark.
We lost power.

“NO!!!” I heard myself screaming. This was the worst possible timing.

I grabbed our flashlights which thankfully, I had placed nearby.
I had my mother hold the board while I figured out what to put over the window.
As I was thinking, I shoved the bed over to the other side of the room. Who knew I had that much strength?
Mom is the one that came up with the genius idea. “Do you have an extra comforter we can nail around the window?”
Yes! I grabbed an old twin size comforter that I had from my college twin bed days. It was super thick.
I loved that damn comforter but I wasn’t thinking about that. I was in survival mode!
Believe it or not, I knew exactly where I kept my hammer and nails too!
I grabbed those quickly and as my mother held that board against the window, barely holding on because of the incredible wind gusts, I nailed that comforter around the window.
The wind was blowing so hard that it would bow the blanket out and pull some of the nails out.
I was standing there replacing the nails when I happen to look over at my bed. I have a huge wooden headboard that isn’t attached, it’s just cute.
I pulled it out and laid it up against the window and comforter. It held.
I kept towels under for the dripping rain and I moved everything away from the window and all of our essentials into the living room.
I had to prop our luggage against the bedroom door to keep it from bursting open due to the wind.

So, there we sat, suddenly feeling VERY vulnerable. I never expected that window to break, even though everyone else in the world boarded their windows.
I guess our apartment maintenance never expected it either.
We sat there, in my living room, with candles blazing; wondering what was going to happen next. We were cramped because everything from my patio was shoved in my dining room and my dining room table was piled with all the things I didn’t want ruined from my bedroom.
Five dogs and two humans in an already crowded apartment is not much fun, plus, it was beginning to get hot.
I turned on the battery powered radio and we listened to the accounts of people on Crystal Beach trapped on their roofs or families tied together with ropes, fighting the surging waters. I didn’t feel so sorry for myself then.

The wind picked up and with each powerful gust, the entire apartment building would shake and sway.
Luckily, because my patio is facing the courtyard, buffeted by other buildings and a 6-foot privacy fence, it was like a normal day on the patio. It was two different worlds; one crazy hurricane fiasco in the bedroom, and a somewhat dark and rainy day out on my patio.

I’m not much of a praying person. I sometimes feel like I’m not even worthy of it. Why would God answer MY prayers?
But I prayed that night. I prayed for my neighbors in the apartment who stayed like me. I prayed for my mother who didn’t deserve to go through this. I prayed for my dogs that depended on us to keep them safe.
I just prayed.

It seemed like the storm went on for HOURS. My sisters kept calling and checking on us and vice versa.
Everyone seemed to be ok but we knew from listening to the news that the back part of the storm was going to be worse. The eye was coming and with it, a little calm….this is where they get the saying “The calm before the storm”, I guess.
I was praying for the eye, though. I didn’t know how long my bedroom was going to hold up. I knew the wind would come from the other direction after the eye.

It seemed like around 2 or 2:30 am, the winds died down.
The silence was deafening.
I ventured outside with my flashlight and so did several other neighbors. We saw tons of tree limbs down but no serious damage.
It was so utterly still outside; I couldn’t believe that there was just a horrible storm a few minutes ago and that another horrible storm would begin again soon.
It was peaceful…serene really.

I suppose the eye passed right over us because I had plenty of time to take each dog out and come back in and nap.
I actually dozed off!
Some say the eye lasted an hour and a half and some say 2 hours. I don’t know…I was asleep.

When the second half of the storm came through, it was pretty bad. I know people say the wind whistles but this wind roared like a monster. I could picture the wind as some kind of wild creature with giant sharp teeth, dripping with saliva.
The building shook and rattled and thumped.
I prayed for two things for the next two hours:
1. That the roof would stay on
2. That the patio glass would stay intact
If those two things would happen, we would be ok.

A few radio stations stayed on. I have NO idea which station I was listening to because it was so dark I couldn’t see the numbers but it was like a voice in the dark.
This man kept talking to me and taking phone calls from other people like us, stuck in the storm. Waiting.
I could see the sky outside my patio doors. Every minute or two, the sky would light up green. On the radio, they described that as transformers exploding.
After the brilliant flash of green, a deep mournful, groaning sound would follow. I kept watching this spectacle, feeling like the world was ending.

I was SO exhausted. It was 3am, then 4am, then 5 and I had been awake for 24 hrs. Between the fear and the radio, I couldn’t really sleep but I found myself dozing off and dreaming about what they were talking about on the radio.
Then a huge gust of wind would shake the apartment and I’d wake up and begin my prayer mantra all over again.
I could hear objects flying around in the courtyard and I begged God not to let something big fly into my patio fence and I cursed the idiots who left patio furniture out.

The DJ said the sun would rise at 6:45am. I kept looking at my cell phone: two hours til dawn then one and a half hours til dawn, etc.
I prayed for dawn because then it would be over.

About 6 am, I begged my mother to play cards with me….just to do SOMETHING to take my mind off of the sound of the wind.

We gathered the candles and flashlights and played Blackjack because that was the only thing I could remember how to play. My mind just wouldn’t reach back and find the rules to rummy or spades.
We actually laughed a lot and I felt so much better.
By the time sunrise reached us, the wind had died down and we would only suffer the occasional big gust. It was raining but not very hard.

I felt relieved. We made it. I just wondered what waited for us outside and what the next few days would be like.

She Lives

I don't know when she'll have internets, but De left me a voice mail and she's all right.

posted by Adam

Hysteria

The local media are wetting themselves. They are so fucking happy they have a hard time looking concerned.
But they find it really easy to tell us all we're going die.

Normally calm people find themselves in a panic after watching the news.
I finally grabbed the remote and changed it to the Food Network. Paula Deen doesn't think we're going to die. She wants us to make goulash and caramel cake!

Guess What

I'm baaack.

De gave me the keys to her place in case Ike fucks her (in the bad way). Let's all keep our fingers crossed and hope the only fucking in her future involves a nice man.

posted by Adam

So we wait...

So, I guess we're ready for Ike.
The local media are whipping us all into a mad frenzy. It's like channel after channel of orgasms and hard-ons.
A friend told me that one meteorologist talked about this hurricane like a normal hetero would talk about a naked woman. He had to look closer to make sure he wasn't accidentally watching porn. (Don't you hate it when you accidentally watch porn?)

Having said all of that, I guess they feel like they have to scare us out of complacency and the new buzz term, "hurricane fatigue".
A lot of us who left for Hurricane Rita three years ago, just can't seem to do it again.
It was HORRIBLE.
The thought of going through all of that again makes me want to burst into tears and I'm not the only one.
All of my sisters and their families are staying.
I'm going to ride the storm out at my mother's house 1. so she won't be alone and 2. because I think I'll be safer in her sturdy house than my questionable apartment.
All of her neighbors are staying too so we won't be in the neighborhood alone.

Tonight, I'll get to sleep in my own bed with the a/c cranking on high. I'll get to wear my satin pajamas and cuddle up with my dogs and my own blankets and pillows.
Tomorrow night, I'll be wide awake, experiencing hurricane winds and rain.
The night after that? Who knows?
We might get lucky....the city keeps making automated phone calls saying they are STILL not recommending evacuations. They must have faith in our levee and seawall.

I do too....I think.

Don't forget De's Twitter. When the power and internet goes down, I'll try to update by text...until that no longer works. It's been taking a while for a text to show up on Twitter...so it will ALMOST be live.

We will not forget

Even though I'm facing down this monster named Ike and my stomach is in a gazillion knots, I still remember that on this day, 7 years ago, my stomach was also in a gazillion knots because our country was in peril.

I had never felt that way before; it was new and I didn't like it.

So many people died and in ways that we maybe only imagine in our nightmares.

I don't think we will ever forget...no matter what future monsters lie in our way.

I don't want to see it

So that's why you're not getting one of my famous hurricane graphics.
It's just too scary.

It's too late to evacuate now and I don't even know where we would go.
We're just going to ride it out.

So, if I survive, I probably won't have internet or power for a while. But I do have a cell phone and a Twitter account.

If you'd like to follow along, I'll try to update the goings on via Twitter.

De's Twitter (sounds dirty)

Ike just doesn't know when to quit

Just like a man!

I guess I'm going to wait it out. By the time we know for sure WHERE it's going to hit, it'll be too late to leave....so...
I'll be live blogging the hurricane.

I have a Twitter account so I'll text the hurricane!

Ike & I: We're drifting apart

I hope.

It's for the best really...it's time we both moved on.

Happy Birthday, Dash!

Well, I'm not sure WHEN Dash was born but when I signed him up for a page on Dogster I had to put a birth date.
I figured if the shelter thought he was 18 months when I adopted him, his birthday would possibly be in September.
So, I randomly chose September 9 and September 9 it is!

But shhh....I haven't told him it's his birthday. It's a surprise.

We don't like Ike!

While Shank is probably still waiting for power to be restored, I don't have much time to mock him and his situation.
We have Ike giving us the evil eye.

I'm definitely not feeling so smug this time!

A Mailbox Surprise 2.0

I had another surprise in my mailbox today.
The Red Violin from my Amazon Wishlist.
I don't know who you are but, again, I'd like to thank you properly!
What a thoughtful gesture and I can't wait to watch it.

I saw this movie only briefly a long time ago. It was late at night and I was falling asleep. I really wanted to see it to the end but it was 3 or 4 am and my body just rebelled. I look forward to staying up for the whole thing now!

Thanks again, Mysterious Stranger. I hope we can e-meet one day!

Hurricane Survival

Poor Shank. He's stuck inside Hanna's cone. I tell ya what...it's not so much fun being stuck inside a cone.
There's all of this uncertainty. It will drive you crazy.
Shank asked if I had any survival tips. Well...the last time I experience a REAL hurricane was back in 1983. I was......young and her name was Alicia.
We did evacuate but we came back to unrecognizable neighborhoods. Our houses were still standing but there were trees and debris everywhere.
The power was out and would be out for nearly a week.
Oh and it was HOT. It was Africa hot and no power, which means: No Air Conditioner. The heat was so bad that we all took turns taking cold baths.
We started an extensive clean-up effort but we were overpowered by ants. There were ants EVERYWHERE. They clung to pine needles and tree limbs.
All you had to do was pick up one fallen branch and you were covered in ants.

It was like the old pioneer days out there. At night, when the sun went down, your day was over. I was a voracious reader even then and I loved to read in bed. Without electricity, I was forced to read by kerosene lamp.
Apparently, I wasn't a very bright child because I put my kerosene lamp on my bedside table, directly under my (now useless) electric lamp and quickly caught the lamp shade on fire.
There was a lot of screaming and excitement but luckily the fire was small and my parents put it out pretty fast.

I remember my mother and I standing in line for ice. Ice was a bigger commodity than water or toilet paper.
We would get word that a truck load of ice would be coming to the local convenience store so we would rush down there and get in line.
It was like communist Russia, standing in line for the most basic of necessities.

So, what am I trying to say to Shank?

1. If you leave, stay gone. Who wants to come home to a mess?
2. Who needs ice? Drink your liquor neat.
3. Reading books is dangerous. Don't do it.
4. If you're drunk enough, you won't care about the heat.
5. Don't bother cleaning up, you'll just hurt yourself.

There. That's all you need to know about surviving a hurricane.
Glad I could help.

The Prodigal Child Returns

The Prodigal Child Returns

No fatted calves please.

Had a great trip that was only slightly marred by Gustav. We kept checking NOAA, watching the Weather Channel and friends and family back home kept calling.

I think we're going to get VERY lucky with this storm. Louisiana....not so much.

Anyway, when I returned home, there was a package waiting for me. Some very generous person sent me The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama from my Amazon wishlist.
The thing is...I'm not sure I know the person that sent it so I can't thank him properly.
So, a HUGE HUGE thank you to the mystery man. I am humbled by your thoughtfulness and generosity.
Drop me an email and let me know who you are...only because I'm insatiably curious!

I'm in the cone of uncertainty

Shank:

What do you think?

Party People

I'm leaving on a jet plane tomorrow morning.
Who knows when I'll be back again....well I do. I'll be back Sunday.

I'm going to KC to hit up my girl Jessica. I haven't seen her in YEARS!

Jess used to live in Arkansas...briefly. One day, I left here at 6pm, drove through a HUGE storm full of tornadoes and found myself in a town in Arkansas that eerily reminded me of Deliverance at 3am. The storm had knocked out all street lights and it was dark and silent.
I drove carefully to Jess' house, picked her up and we continued the road trip all the way to Chicago, Illinois.
We had a choice to make when we got there: we could take a nap or we could start drinking.....

Two days later, hungover, we drove back to Arkansas, then I went on my way back to Texas.

God, we had fun.

Repeat? Nah, we're too old now.

I'm not dead...

I guess I could have updated after Eduardo. Ooops

Nothing happened. Just a little rain.

No biggie.

But I did get some good pics of Hemingway on the patio.

Dashiell checking out the goings on out in the courtyard...Hemingway, just chillin.

Please ignore the dead plant. I have a hard time throwing them away after they commit suicide.

The sky is falling....

or some dramatic shit like that.

The news media in Houston are wetting themselves over this.
They are screaming at us to board up our windows, and RUN RUN and get water by the cases and dear God, don't forget the canned goods!
So, predictably, the grocery stores and Walmart are jam packed.

It was nearly 3 years ago when we were preparing for Hurricane Rita. That Monday before, I thought I was being proactive when I went to Walmart to get some water, a few batteries and dog food.
But I was blown away by the hysteria. People were literally running through the parking lot pushing baskets full of Rubbermaid boxes, cases of water and canned goods.
I walked inside and the energy was electric. I suddenly became overwhelmed. I didn't know which way to turn and I was screaming inside my head, "What do I need? What. Do. I. NEED????"
The water was gone. I couldn't even find the batteries.

A few minutes later, I found myself standing in line purchasing bubble wrap and Cheetos.
How's that for hurricane supplies?
As long as you have bubble wrap and Cheetos, you'll be fine....really.

My smart sister said this afternoon that Edouard (what the fuck kind of name is this anyway???) would take a jog to the north and we would miss the bad stuff.
Looks like she's right.

I'm not sure about the bubble wrap...there might be some around here but I've definitely got the Cheetos and the dogs have food, pig ears and chicken jerky.
We're so good.

Ummm....Shank

Hey guess what? There is a storm coming my way.

What should I do???

Cat Blogging

Sheila has a new love in her life. It made me realize that I don't blog about my cat much.
I feel bad because he is often ignored for those louder more insistent dogs.
Hemingway is deaf, therefore he is pretty quiet and easily overlooked because half the time he doesn't know you're there.
He's not allowed outside but he gets to hang out on the patio from time to time because the fence is so high, his fat ass can't climb it.
His favorite thing to do is lay on the rug in the middle of the patio, in the sun, stretched as far as his blubbery body will go.
I don't care how hot it is outside and this is the gulf coast...in the summer it's Africa hot...he will stay out there for hours.
I'm really sad because I had a couple of pictures of him stretched out there but I must have accidentally deleted them.
However, sometimes I won't let him go outside so he sits by the sliding glass door, staring out longingly at the patio, imagining the warmth of the sun.
Sometimes, he stretches out in the vertical lines of sun that break through the blinds and warm the carpet. Sometimes he finds the strangest things comfortable. I came home one day to find him like this:

I had to watch him for a moment to make sure he was still breathing. When I realized he was, in fact, alive. I grabbed my camera.

There was a hurricane....somewhere

So, Shank was bitching because I didn't do any Dollyblogging.
He seemed to think I was in the middle of a natural disaster. Funnily enough (is funnily a word?) it was in another part of the state.

It hit about 300 plus miles away and we were greedily watching it because we wanted the rain.
"Please, Dolly, bring us some rain," we begged.
We got some. Not much, but some.

Isn't it funny, though. Shank is right in a way...had that bitch been coming this way I'd be blogging up a storm, describing the drama in great detail.
We got lucky...this time.

But don't worry my dear Shank (or Dick, as I like to call him), you'll be the first person I call/email when I'm in the middle of an apocalypse!!

Hypocrisy 2.0

I have a partial view of the parking lot from my desk and if a person parks in the right spot, I can see them.
I happened to look up when a regular customer pulled into that spot. Ms. Smith visits us at least every two or three days, so she is a familiar face around here.

Prior to her visit, we had a Jehovah's Witness invasion.
I have to say that I am never rude or dismissive to the JWs when they are handing out their propaganda. I have the utmost respect for people who are devoted to their faith in a gentle and respectful manner (ie not killing or spewing hateful epithets).
However, I was slightly irritated that I had to endure this at work.

Looking out the window, I could see Ms. Smith speaking to someone out of my view and I figured the JWs had hi-jacked her.
I didn't think it unusual when she sat down on the front bumper but it caught my attention when suddenly she laid back on the hood of her car.
I watched for a moment then noticed her seizing.
I jumped up and ran out into the parking lot and said "Ms. Smith, are you alright?"
She answered "No. I'm not."
I told her to stay right there and I would call 911. She begged me not to. "Please, don't. I'm ok. I just need to sit up. Help me sit up."
By this time, I noticed a van full of JWs parked next to Ms. Smith. They were all staring wide-eyed out of their windows at this woman laying across the hood of her car.
I felt relieved that there was someone else around to help because I wasn't sure I could handle it if something went really wrong. Except...no one in the van was moving. They were just...staring.
Finally, one woman stepped from the van and hurried over to us. Thank goodness SOMEONE cares!
This nice JW took Ms. Smith's hand and asked, "Are you ok?"
Ms. Smith nodded but was very shaky and started to cry. "I think so....I think I just passed out."
That's when I noticed that this "nice" JW had a copy of The Watchtower under her arm. She pressed it into Ms. Smith's hand and said "Well I just wanted to give you something to read."

Something to read? When? While she was dying? Was she taking this opportunity to save her soul just seconds before she kicked it?
I couldn't believe this shit!

I was expecting ol' JW to say "Listen, I could save your life or save your soul but I can't do both."

I was disgusted.
I said, "Can you at least help us get inside and out of this heat?"
She did. But still, not ONE other JW got out of that van.

It wasn't just the JWs either. Three other people walked right past us, looking at us but never once asking if they could help or anything.

In a way, I can understand because the first thing that when through my mind when I saw Ms. Smith laid out like that was, "I hope someone gets to her first." Not because I didn't want to help, or because I wanted her to die, but because I suddenly felt unsure whether or not I COULD do something to help.
Of course those thoughts didn't stop me from leaving my desk and running outside. They were just fleeting thoughts of insecurity.
My real instinct was to help. To do something.
I'm not special.....anyone can and SHOULD do what they can to help someone.
But I was really disappointed in the JWs. They spend their free time walking the streets, harassing citizens and handing out their paraphernalia all in the name of saving our eternal souls but they all sat in their air-conditioned vehicle while someone really needed them.

For shame. Is that really the christian thing to do???

4th of July

I hope you all had a very nice Independence Day. I hope you either made some fireworks or watched some fireworks. I hope you have all the digits and appendages that you started with.

I went on a trip for the 4th....a trip down my stairs...on my ass.
If you're keeping score at home...yes, this is my second trip. I apparently like to travel in the rain.

The bruise is so horrific that I can't resist sharing it with you. Ok, so it's more my hip than my ass...but it's more fun to say "I busted my ass!"

Lovely, no?

One Word

Questions to be answered with one word only - and no word can be used twice......stolen from Sheila.

1. Where is your cell phone? Drawer
2. Your significant other? Home
3. Your hair? Long
4. Your mother? Amazing
5. Your father? Gone
6. Your favorite time of day? Midnight
7. Your dream last night? Amnesia
8. Your favorite drink? Soda
9. Your dream goal? Enlightenment
10. The room you’re in? Lab
11. Your ex? Unhappy
12. Your fear? Cliche
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
14. What you are not? Restful
15. Your Favorite meal? Sushi
16. One of your wish list items? Handbag
17. The last thing you did? Eat
18. Where you grew up? Texas
19. What are you wearing? Clothes
20. Your TV is? Unimportant
21. Your pets? Love
22. Your computer? Necessary
23. Your life? Confusing
24. Your mood? Anxious
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Your car? Toyota
27. Something you’re not wearing? Jewelry
28. Favorite store? Target
29. Your summer? Possibilities
30. Your favorite colour? Pink
31. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier
32. When is the last time you cried? Days
33. Your health? Okay
34. Your children? Nonexistent
35. Your future? Hopeful
36. Your beliefs? Unsure
37. Young or old? Middle
38. Your image? Unknown
39. Your appearance? Unacceptable
40. Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? No

Book Meme

For lack of any other blog content...here is a meme.

I stole this from A Variety of Words. He found Entertainment Weekly's New Classics list on another blog.

I'm just going to bold what I've read. It's interesting to see what are considered the new classics. What I haven't read, I'm really interesting in reading.

1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy (2006)
2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling (2000)
3. Beloved, Toni Morrison (1987)
4. The Liars’ Club, Mary Karr (1995)
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth (1997)
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane (2001)
7. Maus, Art Spiegelman (1986/1991)
8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro (1996)
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier (1997)
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami (1997)
11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer (1997)
12. Blindness, José Saramago (199 8)
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (1986-87)
14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates (1992)
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers (2000) My #2 favorite book of all time!
16. The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood (1986)
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez (1988)
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike (1990)
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith (2005)
20. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding (199 8)
21. On Writing, Stephen King (2000)
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz (2007) Reading this now
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker (1996)
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry (1985)
25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan (1989)
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson (1984)
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt (1990)
28. Naked, David Sedaris (1997) One of my favorite authors
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett (2001)
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson (2004)
31. The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien (1990)
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch (198 8)
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (2005)
34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold (2002)
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst (2004)
36. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt (1996)
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi (2003)
38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore (1998)
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri (2000)
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman (1995-2000)
41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros (1984)
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard (1983)
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette (198 8)
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene (1991)
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende (198 8)
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman (1988-1996)
47. World’s Fair, E.L. Doctorow (1985)
48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver (199 8)
49. Clockers, Richard Price (1992)
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen (2001)
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom (1990)
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan (1992)
53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon (2000)
54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware (2000)
55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls (2006)
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré (1993)
57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe (1987)
58. Drop City, TC Boyle (2003)
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat (1995)
60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich (2001)
61. Money, Martin Amis (1985)
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick (1994)
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders (2000)
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo (1997)
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry (1993)
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace (1997)
67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini (2003)
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (2006)
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt (1992)
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell (2004)
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman (1997)
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon (2003)
73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving (1989)
74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger (1990)
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver (1983)
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell (199 8)
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro (1989)
78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (2006)
79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell (2000)
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney (1984)
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi (1991)
82. Atonement, Ian McEwan (2002)
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields (1994)
84. Holes, Louis Sachar (199 8)
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson (2004)
86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts (1987)
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith (2006)
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby (1995)
89. Close Range, Annie Proulx (1999)
90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl (2001)
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc (2003)
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow (1987)
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley (1991)
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser (2001)
95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman (1998)
96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown (2003)
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson (1992)
98. The Predators’ Ball, Connie Bruck (198 8)
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman (1995)
100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show (2004)

I wonder, why is a book considered a classic? Can you call a book published in 2007 a classic or should you wait to see how it holds up through time?

Birthday Diary

Birthday Diary

So, I'm a birthday person.
I love birthdays...I want people to make a big deal on my birthday. I also try VERY hard to remember the birthday of others and if I can, I try to make a big deal out of it.

I was incredibly surprised when not ONE of my sisters called, emailed or text messaged me on my birthday.
I have four sisters. You would think the odds of ONE of them remembering my birthday would be pretty good, but you thought WRONG.
People I know on the internet but had never met before remembered my birthday, but my blood relatives, my big sisters, my protectors, my other mothers did not.

I think my mother reminded Sister #1 the next day because I got a rushed voice mail wishing me a happy belated birthday.

Sister #2 finally remembered and invited me out to dinner last night. I didn't really want to go to the pity dinner but my mother threatened me so I reluctantly agreed to go. I was perfectly happy pouting about my misfortune of having 4 thoughtless bitches for sisters!

At the dinner, my mom told a story about a woman she knew back in the 60's who bought a brand new Carmen Ghia, quit her job, loaded that tiny car with what little belongings she had, drove to Colorado, got a job the very day she got there and lived happily ever after.

I gazed dreamily out of the window and said, "I have always dreamed about doing that. Just packing my shit in my car and driving to wherever the road leads."
My sister looked at me, puzzled, "But I thought you were going to take care of us, change our adult diapers and push us around in our wheelchairs."

I gave her an antiquated talk-to-the-hand gesture and said, "Are you kidding? You bitches can't even call me on my birthday and you think I'm going to change your diapers? Please!"

It wasn't a horrible birthday, though. I got a lot of good birthday gifts and wishes from a lot of good friends.
I'm just waiting for the city-wide celebration with a parade and a street festival. It's going to happen one day!

PS: Oh! I can't believe I didn't mention the best thing EVER. I ordered a cocktail last night and GOT CARDED! Oh Happy Birthday!

A Good Find aka An Obsession

I was poking through my new favorite bookstore called The Bookish Pelican, when I came across The Complete Short Stories of W. Somerset Maugham.

I couldn't grab it off the shelf fast enough.

Score! Birthday karma!

On Getting Old...er

How did this happen so fast?
Tomorrow, I will be...well an age that I thought would happen hundreds of years from now. An age so close to 40 that I sort of want to vomit, cry and punch someone all at the same time.
Oh sure, some of you might be older but this IS all about me!

I know I'm getting older because my body is starting to betray me.
I found a few grey hairs.
I have back pain sometimes.
I have tiny wrinkles close to my eyes.
and most shockingly, my breasts aren't exactly where they use to be.

So, why, when we start getting older, do we even celebrate birthdays?
Because we're alive?
Pfft! Big deal. I bet there aren't orthopedic shoes in heaven!

Leash Laws Apply

I dreaded today because my tiny little girl Piper had to have surgery.
She had mammary tumors that needed to be removed and checked for cancer.
I got up super early and loaded both dogs in the car for the drive to the island.
After, leaving the quaking dog, I decided it would be nice to take Dashiell for a walk on the beach.
It would be the first time he's been on the beach since I've had him and judging by his reaction when he hit the sand, it was definitely his first time ever.
He was shocked at that sand stuff. It moved under his feet and smelled funny.
It didn't take him long to realize this was pretty cool, so with the leash firmly attached, we took off down the beach.

There were so many things to sniff and pee on that he kept stopping.
Stop, sniff & pee. Stop, sniff & pee.
This went on for a few minutes...until I looked over at Dash as he was smelling a particularly good mound of sand. I was shocked to see a gigantic dog standing right behind my 14lb baby.
Dash was shocked too when he turned around and saw Goliath hovering over him.
Dash became very still as both dogs sniffed each other. I looked up to see who this dog belonged to and I saw a man trailing quite a ways behind but even worse...I saw another dog coming.
I noticed right away that these were both pit bull mixes. I knew this could very possibly end badly.
Dash was fine until the other dog ran up to him. Now two enormous dogs were hovering over him and although I was trying to ply them all with comforting words, I knew Dashiell would crack. And he did. He growled....once....and that was all it took. Both dogs descended on him and in a superhumanly fast move, I scooped him up and held him in both arms.
Those dogs didn't care, they then went after me. Thankfully, they weren't biting but they were jumping on me.
I heard the man, their owner, yelling and I saw him running toward us.
Suddenly, he was flying...yes FLYING in the air and when he came down, he had one dog wrapped in his arms and was wrestling it to the ground trying to attach the leash at the same time.
One down, one to go. The other dog only had eyes for Dash and she kept coming at me.
I had one fist curled up because all I could think about was this wild desire to punch this dog between the eyes.
Luckily before I started abusing this animal, her owner had secured her too.
He asked me if I was ok and if Dash was ok. I just nodded.
I guess I was in shock because I couldn't speak.
"They've never done anything like this before," he said.
That sounded so familiar to me and as I walked down the beach again, I remembered where I had heard that....it came from the owners of the pit bulls that savagely attacked my sister in her driveway less than two years ago.

So, in summary, this incredibly stupid man was walking on the beach with his two pit bull mixes OFF leash and he was surprised when they decided to attack a woman with her small dog ON LEASH.

It wasn't even like there wasn't anyone on the beach at the time either. Ahead of us was a woman with her dog and I noticed she stopped and turned around, headed in the opposite direction.

I wanted to yell at this man. I wanted to ask him how fucking stupid he was. Why would you not put your dogs on a leash on a public beach? But I guess that shock, fear or whatever it was I was feeling put me on auto-pilot and sent me on my way.

Once again, I was lucky. It could have turned out so much worse.

It's June 1st

and yes it's hurricane season but who cares about that when it's Adam's Birthday??

I know it's not a naked pic, Perv, but it'll have to do!

Inked!

It's addictive as you may know...
Last night, I added another tattoo to the collection.

The tattoo artist was a VERY interesting guy that doesn't hesitate to tell you his life story.
My best friend got a matching tattoo....it's an oleander flower and it has a significance in our friendship.

The angle of the picture makes the tattoo look a lot bigger than it is, but it IS beautiful and I think the artist did a great job!

I don't think I'll stop until I totally look like a circus freak...or so my mother tells me!

You had me at VD

The Astros are having a decent run right now but I don't want to jinx it by talking about it too much.

I freaking hate the Cubs so naturally I wanted to see the Astros play them live. We had some GREAT seats for Wednesday night's game.
The people around you can sure ruin a game for you, though.
We had this loud mouth sitting right behind us. He wasn't a horrible guy...he just loved to hear himself talk and had one of those voices that just penetrates your skull.
He was sitting with a group of men and he loudly asked them who manages the Cubs.
No one knew. He asked three different people in his group and still no one knew.
I couldn't stand it...after the third time I turned around and said "It's Lou Pinella!"

Big mistake.

Talking Man decided to regale me with his baseball knowledge in return for my nugget of information.
J.R. Towles is too skinny to be a major league catcher, according to Talking Man.
Relief pitcher for the Cubs, Jon Leiber is too old.
Talking Man use to call high school baseball games and wouldn't you know it, he called a few of my alma mater's games.
But the most disturbing moment came when he was talking about the Baltimore Orioles.
He informed me that Baltimore was a toilet and also the Venereal Disease Capitol of the World...he followed that statement with a wink.
Yes. He winked.
My mouth dropped open. Was this some kind of line? Was he coming on to me with a line about VD?
I couldn't help but wonder if this usually works for him...because, you know...nothing turns me on more than STD trivia.

Stranded

I got the from the forum at Library Thing.
Ok, the deal is...if you're stranded on a deserted island and you can only have 12 books with you, what would you take?

• Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
• Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
• Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
• Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
• Naked by David Sedaris
• In Search of Lost Time (all 7 vols) by Marcel Proust (Is that cheating?)
• Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham
• The Garden of Eden by Ernest Hemingway
• Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
• The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
• One Harry Potter book...I just don't know which one yet...

Forgive me TiVO for I have sinned

I have a confession to make.
I watch bad TV.

Every week, I watch American Idol and seriously discuss the pitch problems, the song choices and the fashions of each contestant.
I screamed "NOooooooooooOOOOooooo!" when Michael Johns was voted off.
I jumped up and down in unbridled glee when Kristy Lee Cook left.
I had the hint of a tear in my eye when David Cook sang Music of the Night because I am just that lame...I LOVE LOVE LOVE Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Yes...I know you thought I was cooler than that, but you couldn't be MORE wrong.
There is absolutely nothing cool about my love for Andrew Lloyd Webber's music.

On Sundays, I watch Brothers and Sisters. I don't even know if this is a good show or not. I'm not sure what good TV is but I feel like I'm obligated to find out what the hell is going to happen to the Walker family and last Sunday I missed a 15 minute chunk of the show so now I don't know what the results of Rebecca's DNA test was. Is she a Walker? Is she going to get it on with her brother?

The worst part of this confession post is the two shows that I am obsessed with; Last of the Summer Wine and Dr. Who.
It's shameful. These aren't even American shows.
Last of the Summer Wine is a show about a bunch of old people and Dr. Who is small-budget sci-fi show with bad aliens, bad acting and bad special effects. But I love both of them.
I actually get annoyed if I have to miss them.

But let's talk about American Idol for a moment and my intense dislike for Neil Diamond. I'm sure he's a nice person but I want to jab my eardrums with rusty nails when I hear one of his tunes.
Last night, those poor bastard contestants had to sing not one but TWO of his songs and after three or four bad critiques from the judges, I said, "Did they stop to consider that they were bad because they were NEIL DIAMOND songs???"

Here is another confession. I am/was a HUGE Monkees fan. I mean...I belonged to the fan club and everything. I actually saw them in concert when I was 13. This was in the 80s during their second resurgence of fame.
Having professed my love for the Monkees, the Neil Diamond-written song, I'm A Believer, is not something someone other than the Monkees should be singing.
Seriously, it's a ridiculous song and no one but a bunch of mop-headed 60's weirdos could ever pull it off.
So, why, I beg of you...WHY is Brooke White singing it in an unbelievably horrid ruffled shirt?
Has she just given up and is begging to go home? I mean it's like career suicide. Was that the musical equivalent of pulling the plug? I think it was.

Also, I think Jason has given up. It's like he's not even trying and is possibly so high that he thinks it's funny. Actually, it IS funny. Oh...maybe I'm high too.

I predict that Jason goes home....or maybe Brooke. The problem is that I LIKE Brooke and want her to do well but for God's sake....I'm A Believer AND a God-awful ruffled shirt???? There is only so much I can do, you know?

It's safer to carry a map

Life is weird.
Life after being robbed or an attempted robbery is strange. I am looking at people differently.
I've never been scared of anyone before. I've never felt like someone was going to hurt me or someone close to me.
Now, I look at certain people and think about the possibilities. I hate this paranoia but I'm pretty sure it will pass and life will go back to normal....I hope!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not frightened all the time. I still take my dogs out at night and I'm still as observant as I have always been, but I notice people more and I am going to feel very sorry for the next person that asks me for directions.
He's going to get a great big "FUCK OFF" and a face full of pepper spray. That poor bastard!

I told most of my friends about what happened. Actually, one friend just happened to call in the middle of all the excitement. I accidentally opened the phone, thinking it was a text message so I had to answer. I breathlessly said, "I can't talk now....it's bad...I just can't talk." and hung up.
Now, what kind of shit is that? You know I just scared the hell out of my friend. I got 3 text messages after that saying "You better call me. I'm scared!"
Don't worry...I did, and I explained everything.
But one friend said, "Your family has more drama than anyone I've ever known."
Now that I think about it, he's right.
We are a large family so I guess the potential for drama goes up when there are more people involved but it's not like we live the kind of lifestyle that invites drama. Things just happen to us.

It may seem that we all love the drama, but we don't. I know people who feed off of it. Drama is their mother's milk and they would shrivel up and die if some crazy shit didn't happen regularly.
I prefer the peaceful life. I love going home after work, walking my dogs, cooking some dinner and watching TV or sitting on my patio reading a book.
Saturday mornings are my favorite when I can wake up, walk the dogs, make coffee in the French press and drink it on the patio, listening to the birds in the courtyard. There is no drama anywhere in those sentences, so I don't know why it keeps happening.

Maybe it's the drama that makes me appreciate the quiet days. If there were no chaos, there would be no peace.

So, you think YOU'VE had a bad day???

If you're having a bad day...come on over to It's All About De and read this post...bookmark it to read again when you think you're having a tough time.

It started with a hysterical phone call yesterday morning from my mother as I was getting ready for work. "My house is on fire!!!" she screamed.
I was in my bumble bee and ladybug pajama pants and white wife beater t-shirt so I just threw a jacket on, slipped on my dog walking shoes and jumped in the car. I ran every red light between our homes and prayed I wouldn't drive up to find her house engulfed in flames.
There were 2 police cars, an ambulance and one fire truck in front of her house. One fire truck...ok...that's a good sign. No billowing smoke or flames coming from her house....another good sign.
I ran up to my mother to find out that a wood and rattan chair had caught on fire and totally went up in flames. It became out of control so quickly and the house filled up with thick black smoke that she just pulled the chair away from the wall, got the animals out of the house and called 911.
Luckily, a fire truck was just around the corner so fire fighters were there in a minute and they got the chair out of the house and doused the flames quickly. But the house....it was a mess.
Thick black smoke turned into thick black soot and it covered EVERYTHING in every part of the house.
Nothing was spared.

My sisters, some of mom's friends and I thought we'd get to work and clean her house but quickly realized that the job was just too much for us and we'd need professionals so Mom started putting calls into her insurance company.

In the meantime there was nothing much we could do so everyone but me left. Mom couldn't stay in the house but she resembled Al Jolson in black face and needed a shower badly.
She got cleaned up and we decided to go get her something to eat. Earlier, I had gone home to change out of my pajamas into something I didn't mind ruining during the clean up which happened to be a pair of cut-off sweat pants (that I didn't cut evenly) and a t-shirt.
We were planning on going by my house so I could change, then out to pick up insurance forms, get lunch...etc...
Things didn't turn out the way we had planned, though.

We walked out of her front door to her car in the driveway. I came around the driver's side and she the passenger's side.
Before I opened the door, I looked up to see a black truck slowing down in front of the house, then pull across the top of the driveway, perpendicular to the driveway and my mother's car.
I wondered if this person had something to do with the insurance company so I took a few steps to the back of the car and waited as the man got out. He was a short african-american guy wearing blue jeans, a t-shirt and a ball cap.
He said, "Hey, how do I get to the freeway?"
I kind of laughed because he was a LONG way from the freeway. Do you mean Hwy X?"
"Yeah," he said.
So I started to give him directions. I only got as far as the end of the street when I stopped, realizing that he wasn't listening or looking at me. He was looking around very suspiciously.
My mom had come to stand next to me by this point so I put my arm in front of her and pushed her behind me.
"Mom, go inside the house." I said.
The guy says, "Why? What's the problem?"
I said, "No problem. We just need to go."
He then shook his head and said "Y'all aren't going anywhere" as he started to walk around me towards either my mother or to try to get in between us and the house.
My blood instantly went cold. My adrenaline suddenly spiked; I could hear a roaring in my ears and I suddenly had tunnel vision. All I could see was that guy.
He didn't show a weapon but I noticed his pockets were bulging so I didn't know what he had in there and I didn't want to find out.
My mind started racing, thinking, "How are we going to get out of this situation?"
I could have run...hell...I could have taken him. He was at least 6 inches shorter than me but my mother....
She's nearly 70 and she can't run. I needed to keep her safe so I put myself in between the guy and my mother. Every time he moved, I moved, keeping a distance between us and pushing my mother back toward the house. I kept saying "NO! NO!" because I remember thinking there is NO way he's getting to us or getting into the house. I was confident (maybe stupidly so) that he wasn't getting inside that house. I was also fumbling for the keys in my hand to push the panic button on the remote. I wanted to create as much noise as possible.
In the back of my mind I knew that no one was around. My mother lives in a quiet neighborhood and everyone was at work at 1:30 in the afternoon.
So, when I heard my mother screaming "HELP! HELP!" I wondered why, no one would hear her. But I looked to my left and her new next door neighbor was just exiting his car. He just stood and looked at us for a moment so I started yelling, "HELP US! HELP US!" and I set off the panic alarm to the car.
The neighbor started running across the yard toward the bad guy. That gave me an opportunity to create a lot of distance between me and him so I went for my cell phone to call 911.
I heard the neighbor yell "STOP! POLICE!"
I am thinking he's telling ME to call the police and I think, "Dude! That's what I'm doing...duh!"
The bad guy starts backing off saying "I ain't doing nothing!" but suddenly he jumps in the truck and takes off.
The neighbor is screaming the whole time telling him to stop and step away from the vehicle.
I'm yelling for my mother to get inside while I'm trying to remember the number for 911.
As the bad guy drives off, the neighbor asks, "What happened?" I simply said, "He was trying to rob or attack us!" I barely looked at him because I was trying to get the license plate of the fleeing truck.
Neighbor guy jumped in his car and took off after the bad guy.
I actually got through to 911 and gave them my story and was told an officer would be by soon.

When I hung up, my mother had sat down on the porch and said "Did you see that? The neighbor had a gun. He pulled it out of his holster. I think he's a cop!"
I realized then why he said "Police!" He was identifying himself, not giving me orders!

It wasn't long until a police officer showed up and asked for a description of the guy and his truck. When I was finished he said they had apprehended a guy that fits the description and wanted us to come to the scene to identify him.
By this time two of my sisters had driven back to my mother's house so we all jumped into a car and followed the cop to a VERY remote part of town. We drove down a bumpy road, behind a junkyard to find several police cars and that same black truck.
They kept us a good distance from the bad guy and got him out of the police car and we gave a positive identification.

The story is that this pillar of society started in Houston with a car jacking for that truck, then slowly meandered down south where he robbed people along the way. He was just taking a leisurely drive through the neighborhoods looking for easy targets.
He didn't expect to approach two women next door to an off duty police officer. Hell, we didn't know she lived next door to an off duty police officer!
The bad guy was captured after a high speed pursuit through town and since he wasn't from here, he got himself stuck on an unfamiliar street, crashed into a van and tried to take off on foot. He didn't get far.
He was found with over 100 stolen items on his person, mostly jewelry (that's what created the bulges I noticed).
He is being charged with felony evading, multiple moving violations, resisting arrest, drug possession, the multiple thefts and where my mother and I are concerned he's being charged with felony unlawful restraint.

After about 2 hours at the police station giving our statements separately, the detective asked me if there was anything else I wanted them to know about the incident. If I were sitting in front of a jury, what would I want them to know?
I had to think about it for a moment and then I said, "When I set off the panic alarm, he laughed at me as if to indicate that he wasn't intimidated at all. I knew then that we were in big trouble. He was amazingly calm about the whole thing, as if he did this everyday."
The detective typed this up and said "That's good stuff."

Yes, it was a bad day, but it could have been worse. The fire wasn't devastating, the bad guy didn't have a weapon and there was a police officer just a few feet away. We were VERY lucky.
But my sisters lovingly reminded me that I was very lucky that I wasn't arrested myself; apparently my uneven cut off sweats and old t-shirt were definitely a violation and I should be thankful the fashion police were off duty!
Why is it nothing bad ever happens when you're dressed up? I'm always in my pajamas, sweats or just rolling out of bed when an emergency occurs; teeth not brushed, hair askew, face unwashed - devoid of any makeup.
I might start wearing an evening gown 24/7!

It's Business

I was gone for a while on a business trip. I love traveling on the company dime. Nice hotels, a per diem, towncars vs taxis. It's great.
Everything went so smoothly on this trip (the airport, hotel reservations, traffic, etc..) I was beginning to worry. Surely the plane would crash on the way home, right?
But no, I'm alive and everything went swimmingly. I'm not complaining, just surprised.

So, for some reason on my last bookstore trip I purchased Of Human Bondage and The Painted Veil by W. Somerset Maugham.
I read The Painted Veil in one day. I started Of Human Bondage and it took a bit longer to read because of all the descriptive inter-musings of the narrator.
I couldn't wait to get back to the book to see what Philip Carey was up to, though.
After that, I read all the short stories I could get my hands on.

I found that the local library had The Razor's Edge so I checked that out but that very same day, I decided to visit a used bookstore. I went there with the idea that I would have to dig for a battered copy of a W. Somerset Maugham book if I was lucky. I was willing to be happy with that.
As soon as I walked in, I was drawn straight to a matching set of hardbound books. I had to blink a few times because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was a set of Maugham novels!
I knew they would be more than I could afford but I still asked the shop girl how much the whole set would be. She said she would look it up but it would take a few minutes. I had just walked in so I didn't mind looking around for a while.

She found me a few minutes later with the set of books in her arms and said "Is $17 ok?"
"Each?" I asked, unable to hope.

"No, for the set."

I grabbed them before she could change her mind.

Lost & Found

I thought I lost my iPod.

I was sitting in a church attending a funeral service for a family friend when suddenly I realized that I didn't see my iPod when I changed purses the night before. I fought the urge to hysterically start digging in my handbag right then and there during the eulogy given by the deceased's crying son but I rushed back to work where I proceeded to unload the entire contents of my bag onto my desk. No iPod.
I'm pretty good about keeping up with things like my cell phone, ipod and digital camera so when the iPod wasn't in it's usual pocket, I became a little worried.
But I didn't panic. I made it through the rest of the work day but couldn't wait to get home to start tearing shit apart.
The first place I looked was the purse I was carrying previously which was also the purse I was using the last time I remember seeing the iPod.
Not there.

I started searching through my numerous handbags. I checked every nook and cranny in my house then went outside to start searching through my car. Maybe it fell out of my purse in my car.
Not there.

I knew it was gone forever. I looked in every conceivable spot. I lost it.

What was worse than the pain of losing this tiny piece of technological yumminess was the idea that someone else had found it. I could imagine some greasy, dirty individual finding my iPod and enjoying all the wonderful music I had painstakingly chosen.
The idea of it drove me crazy. If I can't have my iPod, then I'd rather see it destroyed than some random loser putting their sweaty paws all over it.

I whined about it to friends all day Thursday and everyone sympathized with me.

Then Thursday night, I started thinking of a few clutches and wristlets that I couldn't remember searching. I usually keep my small accessories in my larger purses and I typically don't know what is where, so I picked up the first handbag I could find which was the original search location. I opened it to see if my wristlet was inside but instead I found my iPod staring back at me.
All this time and after a million searches, my iPod was where I originally thought it would be.
I stared at it in amazement. I have found you, my beautiful lover!

Apparently the lining of the bag is so loose that it had been folded inside the lining and I just didn't see it or feel it during my frantic search and later must have shifted after I started throwing handbags around.

It's not often we have a happy ending to a tragic story in today's world so I hope my story helps to make your Friday even better and will brighten your weekend.

The Prodigal iPod Returns!

PS: That pic makes me look like I have gigantic man hands!

Happy Opening Day!

It's baseball season! I know you're as excited about it as I am!

Spring Training was a little....uninspiring and there have been so many changes to the team that I have absolutely NO idea what this season holds for us as Astros fan, but who really cares? It's baseball season!!

Gone are those familiar faces like that of Craig Biggio, Adam Everett, Woody Williams and the one that broke my heart...Brad Lidge.
How am I expected to go on without seeing Brad Lidge in an Astros uniform?

There is a whole group of guys we'll all have to become acquainted with. I'm a little excited about Miguel Tejada and I've always liked Kaz Matsui. Unfortunately, Matsui is recovering from a very cringe-worthy surgery and is on the DL.

But...c'mon! It's Opening Day across America! It's time to rejoice!

Ahhh....laziness

Just because I wasn't going to Florida didn't mean I wasn't taking that week off of work.
I spent a week cleaning and organizing, reading, playing with the dogs and just generally being a lazy fuck.
It was awesome. The weather was glorious and I had such a wonderful time. I hated going back to work.

Since I have nothing else to talk about...I'm going to force you to look at pics of Dashiell and Piper!

Change of Plans

Due to the universe hating me, I will NOT be going to Astros Spring training in Kissimmee!
Everything that could go wrong DID go wrong and when we made the decision not to go, everything seemed to work out in our favor. We ended up trading our tickets for a pair of really great regular season tickets, so we're not out any money.

Sometimes you have to listen to the universe, I suppose.

Besides....how could I leave this face?

It's Official

Due to the universe hating me, I will NOT be going to Astros Spring training in Kissimmee!
Everything that could go wrong DID go wrong and when we made the decision not to go, everything seemed to work out in our favor. We ended up trading our tickets for a pair of really great regular season tickets, so we're not out any money.

Sometimes you have to listen to the universe, I suppose.

Besides....how could I leave this face?

Spring Break Road Trip

One week from today, I'm loadin' em up and heading to Kissimmee, Florida for Astros Spring Training!
I've got tickets to the Mets' game and I can't wait!

I'm also going to make a stop in Biloxi to sleep with meet the infamous Adam.

Jealous?

Don't bogart the weed, Moses!

So researchers are saying that Moses didn't see (or hear) God. They say he was a junkie user with hallucinations.

I might have believed that of Jonah and all that whale business (I mean...please....who lives inside of a whale for days?) but Moses? C'mon!
I guess they'll have to remake the famous "Moses on the mountain scene" but this time it's at Woodstock and he's dropping the brown acid.

Meet Dashiell

I guess the rescue finally decided I was good enough.
I got the call yesterday that I could come get him for a one week home trial.

He was saved from a kill shelter just 2 days before he was due to be put down. He's supposedly a pure bred Japanese Chin but he's kind of big for that breed.
But, he's gorgeous with a rich sable and white coat.
He's never met a stranger and made up his mind pretty quick that he likes me.
The rescue people named him Alex. He didn't like that name and when I called him Dashiell for the first time, he gave me kisses. I think he likes it!

The first 24 hours went extremely smooth...except...Hemingway hates him.
I'm having a hard time getting those two to bond but they will...eventually.

He has learned really quickly that he likes toys and Dingo bones.
He made quick work of his first Dingo bone.

Piper has ignored him for the most part but like most girls, I'm sure she's just playing "hard to get".

Happy Skippy Day!

I claim today, March 2, to forever been known as International Skippy Day!!!!!

Happy Birthday Skippy....my panties are in the mail.

Road Trip

A few weeks ago, my wonderful great aunt died. She was 88 and was ready to go. She simply stopped breathing and it was peaceful and quick.
She died with grace and dignity, similar to the way she lived her life.
She hated funerals and didn't go to them herself so why should she expect people to go to hers? She didn't want a funeral, a memorial service or any kind of fanfare that might put people out. She wanted a simple cremation and to be buried in our family plot in central Texas.
My cousin made plans to bury her ashes last weekend so my mother, 3 of my sisters, Piper and I piled into a Ford Expedition at 5:30am and went for a 5 hour drive to bury my aunt.
Despite the sad reason for our trip, we had a really wonderful time. It's been a VERY long time since the 5 of us spent any length of time together and we actually enjoyed each other's company.

Somewhere along the way, we saw an old house on the side of this small highway. My mother remembered reading about it in a Texas Highways magazine in the 80s. It was supposedly so haunted that no one could live in it and it was abandoned years ago. She read about that in the 80s and this place was still standing and still abandoned.
Well, we had to go inside. How could we resist?

This is the house from the highway:

As we walked through the broken gate, we noticed from the trail worn into the ground that we weren't the only lookieloos!

The front porch is amazingly sturdy and the door frames are rotting but still there.

Inside, the floor is rotting but the exterior walls are standing firm. This house was built to last.

The stairs lead to the second floor but we weren't brave enough to try it.

From the other side of the house you can see the two story porch. You can also see the missing chimney.

From the back, you can tell how strong this house is.

The old well is right next to the house.

I have NO idea how old this house is or the story behind it, but it was built before running water and electricity were popular home accessories.
There are no water pipes anywhere and we could see where electricity was added later. The wires are visible upstairs.

Ok...I went in there thinking I might sense a presence but there was nothing.

Two of my sisters walked back to the car saying "Did you feel anything?" "No. I didn't feel a thing."
Right then, the tin roof started rattling. Their eyes bulged out and they yelled back to me, "Did you hear that???".
I laughed at them, "It's the wind, you weirdos!".

Later, after they were all back at the car and I was on the porch taking these pictures, I heard "Bam! Bam! Bam!"
It was the roof, but there was no wind. It was completely still.
I'm pretty level-headed but I figured my picturing-taking was done.