Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Forgive me TiVO for I have sinned

I have a confession to make.
I watch bad TV.

Every week, I watch American Idol and seriously discuss the pitch problems, the song choices and the fashions of each contestant.
I screamed "NOooooooooooOOOOooooo!" when Michael Johns was voted off.
I jumped up and down in unbridled glee when Kristy Lee Cook left.
I had the hint of a tear in my eye when David Cook sang Music of the Night because I am just that lame...I LOVE LOVE LOVE Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Yes...I know you thought I was cooler than that, but you couldn't be MORE wrong.
There is absolutely nothing cool about my love for Andrew Lloyd Webber's music.

On Sundays, I watch Brothers and Sisters. I don't even know if this is a good show or not. I'm not sure what good TV is but I feel like I'm obligated to find out what the hell is going to happen to the Walker family and last Sunday I missed a 15 minute chunk of the show so now I don't know what the results of Rebecca's DNA test was. Is she a Walker? Is she going to get it on with her brother?

The worst part of this confession post is the two shows that I am obsessed with; Last of the Summer Wine and Dr. Who.
It's shameful. These aren't even American shows.
Last of the Summer Wine is a show about a bunch of old people and Dr. Who is small-budget sci-fi show with bad aliens, bad acting and bad special effects. But I love both of them.
I actually get annoyed if I have to miss them.

But let's talk about American Idol for a moment and my intense dislike for Neil Diamond. I'm sure he's a nice person but I want to jab my eardrums with rusty nails when I hear one of his tunes.
Last night, those poor bastard contestants had to sing not one but TWO of his songs and after three or four bad critiques from the judges, I said, "Did they stop to consider that they were bad because they were NEIL DIAMOND songs???"

Here is another confession. I am/was a HUGE Monkees fan. I mean...I belonged to the fan club and everything. I actually saw them in concert when I was 13. This was in the 80s during their second resurgence of fame.
Having professed my love for the Monkees, the Neil Diamond-written song, I'm A Believer, is not something someone other than the Monkees should be singing.
Seriously, it's a ridiculous song and no one but a bunch of mop-headed 60's weirdos could ever pull it off.
So, why, I beg of you...WHY is Brooke White singing it in an unbelievably horrid ruffled shirt?
Has she just given up and is begging to go home? I mean it's like career suicide. Was that the musical equivalent of pulling the plug? I think it was.

Also, I think Jason has given up. It's like he's not even trying and is possibly so high that he thinks it's funny. Actually, it IS funny. Oh...maybe I'm high too.

I predict that Jason goes home....or maybe Brooke. The problem is that I LIKE Brooke and want her to do well but for God's sake....I'm A Believer AND a God-awful ruffled shirt???? There is only so much I can do, you know?

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