Monday, July 28, 2008

Cat Blogging

Sheila has a new love in her life. It made me realize that I don't blog about my cat much.
I feel bad because he is often ignored for those louder more insistent dogs.
Hemingway is deaf, therefore he is pretty quiet and easily overlooked because half the time he doesn't know you're there.
He's not allowed outside but he gets to hang out on the patio from time to time because the fence is so high, his fat ass can't climb it.
His favorite thing to do is lay on the rug in the middle of the patio, in the sun, stretched as far as his blubbery body will go.
I don't care how hot it is outside and this is the gulf the summer it's Africa hot...he will stay out there for hours.
I'm really sad because I had a couple of pictures of him stretched out there but I must have accidentally deleted them.
However, sometimes I won't let him go outside so he sits by the sliding glass door, staring out longingly at the patio, imagining the warmth of the sun.
Sometimes, he stretches out in the vertical lines of sun that break through the blinds and warm the carpet. Sometimes he finds the strangest things comfortable. I came home one day to find him like this:
Hemingway Capsized

I had to watch him for a moment to make sure he was still breathing. When I realized he was, in fact, alive. I grabbed my camera.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

There was a hurricane....somewhere

So, Shank was bitching because I didn't do any Dollyblogging.
He seemed to think I was in the middle of a natural disaster. Funnily enough (is funnily a word?) it was in another part of the state.

It hit about 300 plus miles away and we were greedily watching it because we wanted the rain.
"Please, Dolly, bring us some rain," we begged.
We got some. Not much, but some.

Isn't it funny, though. Shank is right in a way...had that bitch been coming this way I'd be blogging up a storm, describing the drama in great detail.
We got lucky...this time.

But don't worry my dear Shank (or Dick, as I like to call him), you'll be the first person I call/email when I'm in the middle of an apocalypse!!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Hypocrisy 2.0

I have a partial view of the parking lot from my desk and if a person parks in the right spot, I can see them.
I happened to look up when a regular customer pulled into that spot. Ms. Smith visits us at least every two or three days, so she is a familiar face around here.

Prior to her visit, we had a Jehovah's Witness invasion.
I have to say that I am never rude or dismissive to the JWs when they are handing out their propaganda. I have the utmost respect for people who are devoted to their faith in a gentle and respectful manner (ie not killing or spewing hateful epithets).
However, I was slightly irritated that I had to endure this at work.

Looking out the window, I could see Ms. Smith speaking to someone out of my view and I figured the JWs had hi-jacked her.
I didn't think it unusual when she sat down on the front bumper but it caught my attention when suddenly she laid back on the hood of her car.
I watched for a moment then noticed her seizing.
I jumped up and ran out into the parking lot and said "Ms. Smith, are you alright?"
She answered "No. I'm not."
I told her to stay right there and I would call 911. She begged me not to. "Please, don't. I'm ok. I just need to sit up. Help me sit up."
By this time, I noticed a van full of JWs parked next to Ms. Smith. They were all staring wide-eyed out of their windows at this woman laying across the hood of her car.
I felt relieved that there was someone else around to help because I wasn't sure I could handle it if something went really wrong. one in the van was moving. They were just...staring.
Finally, one woman stepped from the van and hurried over to us. Thank goodness SOMEONE cares!
This nice JW took Ms. Smith's hand and asked, "Are you ok?"
Ms. Smith nodded but was very shaky and started to cry. "I think so....I think I just passed out."
That's when I noticed that this "nice" JW had a copy of The Watchtower under her arm. She pressed it into Ms. Smith's hand and said "Well I just wanted to give you something to read."

Something to read? When? While she was dying? Was she taking this opportunity to save her soul just seconds before she kicked it?
I couldn't believe this shit!

I was expecting ol' JW to say "Listen, I could save your life or save your soul but I can't do both."

I was disgusted.
I said, "Can you at least help us get inside and out of this heat?"
She did. But still, not ONE other JW got out of that van.

It wasn't just the JWs either. Three other people walked right past us, looking at us but never once asking if they could help or anything.

In a way, I can understand because the first thing that when through my mind when I saw Ms. Smith laid out like that was, "I hope someone gets to her first." Not because I didn't want to help, or because I wanted her to die, but because I suddenly felt unsure whether or not I COULD do something to help.
Of course those thoughts didn't stop me from leaving my desk and running outside. They were just fleeting thoughts of insecurity.
My real instinct was to help. To do something.
I'm not special.....anyone can and SHOULD do what they can to help someone.
But I was really disappointed in the JWs. They spend their free time walking the streets, harassing citizens and handing out their paraphernalia all in the name of saving our eternal souls but they all sat in their air-conditioned vehicle while someone really needed them.

For shame. Is that really the christian thing to do???

Monday, July 7, 2008

4th of July

I hope you all had a very nice Independence Day. I hope you either made some fireworks or watched some fireworks. I hope you have all the digits and appendages that you started with.

I went on a trip for the 4th....a trip down my stairs...on my ass.
If you're keeping score at home...yes, this is my second trip. I apparently like to travel in the rain.

The bruise is so horrific that I can't resist sharing it with you. Ok, so it's more my hip than my ass...but it's more fun to say "I busted my ass!"

Lovely, no?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

One Word

Questions to be answered with one word only - and no word can be used twice......stolen from Sheila.

1. Where is your cell phone? Drawer
2. Your significant other? Home
3. Your hair? Long
4. Your mother? Amazing
5. Your father? Gone
6. Your favorite time of day? Midnight
7. Your dream last night? Amnesia
8. Your favorite drink? Soda
9. Your dream goal? Enlightenment
10. The room you’re in? Lab
11. Your ex? Unhappy
12. Your fear? Cliche
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
14. What you are not? Restful
15. Your Favorite meal? Sushi
16. One of your wish list items? Handbag
17. The last thing you did? Eat
18. Where you grew up? Texas
19. What are you wearing? Clothes
20. Your TV is? Unimportant
21. Your pets? Love
22. Your computer? Necessary
23. Your life? Confusing
24. Your mood? Anxious
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Your car? Toyota
27. Something you’re not wearing? Jewelry
28. Favorite store? Target
29. Your summer? Possibilities
30. Your favorite colour? Pink
31. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier
32. When is the last time you cried? Days
33. Your health? Okay
34. Your children? Nonexistent
35. Your future? Hopeful
36. Your beliefs? Unsure
37. Young or old? Middle
38. Your image? Unknown
39. Your appearance? Unacceptable
40. Would you live your life over again knowing what you know? No