Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Popularity is a Waste

Friday night, my niece graduated from highschool.
This is particularly painful to me because for the first 3 years of her life, I kept her during the summer. People always thought she was my baby.
Now, "my baby" is a highschool graduate. She was also the salutatorian and was required to speak to the graduating class.
We were a little concerned because even though she is unbelievably intelligent, she's a social retard.
It's almost painful to be around her for too long so she doesn't have many friends. She also dresses like she doesn't give a shit (because she doesn't) which tends to embarrass us a little. It's not that we care about the clothes that people wear but she's not a thin girl and she wears things without regard to her size and without the proper undergarments.

Of course, she was wearing the same cap and gown as everyone else, we were relieved.

My poor niece has never had a boyfriend, never been out on a date and rarely leaves the house and even more rarely goes to school functions.
I know she's probably never touched a drop of alcohol or partaken of an illegal substance.
That's why when she quoted Tom Waits at the end of her speech, I was shocked.
"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."

This caused every senior on the field and every highschool student in the stands to stand up and cheer.

For about 5 seconds my niece, the introverted genius, was the most popular girl in school.

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