Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Untitled (I couldn't think of anything)

Just to be clear, I am not starting out this post to bash men although by the time I'm done, I might be using a sledgehammer.

I think I'm bored with men. I have yet to meet (in person) a man who I think might be worth it....and by "it" I mean sex and by "sex" I mean all the games.

I enjoy sex probably more than the average girl but I'm multi-dimensional; I am a complex human being with varied interests, dreams and goals.
Men have one goal: Sex.
They will play your game, tell you what you want to hear, pretend to listen to you when you speak and share your interests to get....sex.

Underneath that drive for sex, I see nothing in the men I've known in the last few years. They are BORING.

I find women interesting. I'm not sure I find them all attractive or feel that sexual pull towards them but I can carry on a conversation (again: in person) with another woman about anything and truly feel like we both appreciate what the other has to say.
When I'm talking to a man, I think he misses every other word because I imagine his inner dialogue goes something like this:

"Ok, make eye contact. Good...don't look at her boobs til she looks away.
Now, nod, make appropriate sounds like you're listening.
I wonder if she swallows. She looks like a swallower.
God I hate spitters.
I bet she likes it from behind. I remember that chick...what was her name...Jenny? No. Janet? No....oh! Allie! Yeah...Allie liked anal.
Wonder what she's doing these days...."

It's all so cliche, yet, every guy friend I have will tell you that it's true. That's pretty much what's going on.
Everything a guy does is for that forward momentum towards sex.
How very tiresome.

But don't despair, skippy, my love and Adam, my pedo-crush, this isn't my coming out post either.
I do find certain women attractive...Janine , my girl crush, for example ...but in all reality, I'd have a difficult time being intimate with another woman.
Most women are competitive with other women. I would feel insecure being with someone as beautiful as Janine. I would want a woman who was attractive, but not too attractive. I wouldn't want her to be uglier than me, but also not TOO much prettier.
I wouldn't want her to be fatter than me but not too skinny.

I just realized that I'd be more attracted to a woman who looked a lot like me.

So does this mean I just want to have sex with myself?

Oh this is too weird and Freudian.

I guess I'll stick with men.

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