'Scuse me while I drive under the influence...

So, the world is talking about it; Paris Hilton is in jail.

I admit I was filled with glee when I heard she was sentenced to jail time but then I read what her jail time was going to be like.

...she has been segregated from the general population in a "special-needs" unit designed for high-profile inmates such as celebrities, former police officers and public officials.

The star of reality TV's "The Simple Life" will be confined to quarters 23 hours a day, with an hour each day outside her cell to stretch her legs, take a shower, use the telephone or watch television in a jailhouse day room.

She gets her own cell, no visitors, no roommate.
She gets an hour for TV, shower and phone calls.
You've got to be kidding me! This is a freaking holiday for me!
Give me a book and some paper and a pen and I'm the happiest girl on earth!

I was hoping for some Oz-type stuff...like fights in the shower and fights in the cafeteria...and fights in the "yard".

I'm willing to bet that if I committed this crime, I would be a lot worse off than Miss Hilton!