Monday, October 23, 2006

It's All About Obeying De

A few months ago, I started dating this guy. We'll call him "Old Balls". I'm not going to go into detail but it was just a casual thing. I had no intention of getting serious with him and I knew he felt the same. We were just having a good time.

Anyone who knows me well understands that I'd rather you be honest with me more than anything. I don't care what you tell me, if you're honest, more often than not I can deal with it.
I'm not an idiot. Old Balls has been unfaithful to EVERYONE he has ever dated or married so I wasn't expecting a monogamous relationship but he is hot as hell so I just wanted to have a little fun.
Then I found out that he was seeing someone else and lying to me about it. Again, I didn't expect him to see only me but I hate being lied to. And the fact that it was stupid lies made me even MORE angry.
It wasn't that he was seeing someone else, it was that he was treating me like a moron. It was an insult to my intelligence and I stopped seeing him.

Ok, cut to this weekend at the Artoberfest. My ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend went with me and as we are walking around, perusing the artist's booths, I spotted Old Balls walking with a woman, holding hands.
I wasn't jealous but suddenly I felt evil. I wanted him to see me because I KNEW it would freak him out a little. I can pretty much assume he's unfaithful to this chick so seeing someone he use to sleep with while out with said chick would make him uncomfortable.
Plus, I am SO much cuter than this person he was holding hands with. Please girls, don't act like you haven't felt this way before!

Anyway, I alert ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend whom we'll call Dipshit for this post.
When Old Balls passed by, we made eye contact but that was it, he didn't acknowledge my presence at all (which I expected).
I turned around and watched them walk on and suddenly I wanted to follow them. I was being mischeivious, I know, but I just wanted to make him a little uncomfortable. C'mon! It's fun!
But Dipshit wanted no part of it. He kept trying to walk over on the other side of the street so I found myself screaming things like, "Come on you fucking GIRL! Just walk with me!" or things like "God, you're such a fucking pussy! Be a man!" (Can you believe that we ever broke up?)
He informed me that he could easily be a man on the opposite side of the street.

Later, I thought about my behavior. No, not about yelling at Dipshit. He deserved it. But about why I wanted to make Old Balls flip out.
I wasn't jealous at all but I guess I still harbored some resentment about his treatment of me. I have had guys cheat on me before (haven't we all?) but I was more angry about how stupid he must have thought I was.
People who treat me like an idiot really piss me off. I can forgive the cheating but I can't forgive that!

What does this say about me?

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