East of Oblivion

Sometimes the greatest material can be found in instant messaging.

Me: there is a man that comes in here...he's old but handsome
Me: I would do him
The Friend: would you now
The Friend: what does he look like?
Me: old
The Friend: so, you'd do guys hunched over walkers, huh?
The Friend: that's pretty kinky, I guess
Me: you're gross and ghey
The Friend: YOU brought this all up in the first place, toots! 
Me: yeah well I wasn't talking about walkers and shit
The Friend: but you didn't play along when I asked what he looked like....
The Friend: "old" isn't very descriptive, especially for a wordsmith 
Me: He's ruggedly handsome with salt and pepper hair brushing his forehead.  He dresses with wild abandon, unconcerned about current fashions and trends.  He walks with a swagger, hinting at years of wisdom and adventure.  He smiles, knowingly, as if to say "I could have you.  I've had many like you before."
Me: how's that...ass
The Friend: LMAO!
The Friend: yeah!  That was great!
The Friend: are you sure you don't write for either Harlequin or one of the soaps?
Me: nah...I'm too good.  I prefer to waste my talent here in Obscurity.  You remember Obscurity?  It's just north of Suicide and to the east of Oblivion