Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Nothing that a lap dance won't cure

Right after my cruise, I noticed my right ankle and foot were swollen. I didn't think much of it, I had eaten the richest of foods all weekend long and walked flights and flights of stairs, after all.

The swelling went down a few days later but I continued to have a little ache in my ankle and foot but didn't really pay much attention to it.

This weekend, the ache got worse. I spent most of Saturday on my feet, walking and by Saturday night, I was in pain and I had strange sensations in my calf.
I can't really describe them well enough but it's like my calf muscle would just start to cramp and then stop. Then I would have shooting pains in my foot. Then I would have twitches and pain in other parts of my calf.
I didn't sleep well that night because I constantly felt like I had to move my leg.

Sunday night was the same, only worse. By Monday morning, I decided to go to the doctor.
By the time I went to my appointment, I had convinced myself that I had a blood clot.
My mother suffers from severe DVT and it's only natural that I receive that wonderful gene from her, right?

From Sunday night to Monday afternoon, I had worked myself up into a state of fear. On the outside, I seemed normal but inside I was freaking out.
If I had a blood clot, I'd be put into the hospital immediately...that is if the clot didn't break off and go to my lungs or heart.

About an hour before my appointment, I started having pains in my back and it hurt to take a deep breath. I kept imagining the future with blood clots and DVT. I've seen it with my mother and it's a scary future.
I would try to take deep meditation breaths but my back and chest would hurt and that would remind me that I was dying and I would panic a little again.

When I got to the dr's office, my blood pressure was sky high. It shocked the nurse because my blood pressure had always been so good.
She took my hand to check my pulse and my palms were damp and clammy.
My pulse was erratic and I finally admitted that I was completely freaking out.

The doctor, with her sweet disposition tried to calm me down and reassure me but I heard her outside the door order the nurse to get me an appointment for a Doppler ultrasound ASAP.

The nurse rushed in and told me she was taking me to the referral department. I heard her tell the referral clerk that I needed a Doppler ASAP.
I heard the clerk call the hospital and tell them I needed to get in ASAP.
Then she came to me and said that I could go home but she would call me before 5 and tell me when to go get the ASAP Doppler.
She did call. My appointment is Wednesday.
Is that ASAP? I mean, I'm no medical professional but I always thought ASAP stood for As Soon As Possible.
Maybe ASAP is Latin for "Whenever we damn well feel like it." or "We're just waiting for you to die so we don't have to spend that much money on frivolous testing."

If it were my insurance company scheduling the appointment, I'd go with the latter.

I'm a little more calm today. Last night, I took some Advil and amazingly, it made my leg feel better. That's a sign that it's probably not a blood clot.
Then I made myself a nice cup of tea and put in my favorite DVD that I watch when I'm depressed, stressed or scared; Showgirls.

There is something about gratuitous nudity and really bad acting that truly heals the soul.

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