Morons, Golf Clubs and Spiders...Oh My!

My previous entry about the moronic coworker has opened the floodgates in my memory.
That wasn't the first stupid question she's asked me, believe me!

She's also completely computer illiterate. The only reason she can do her job is because she's been given step by step instructions on which buttons to click and which keys to press. She's written it all down and keeps it close to the monitor.

A while back, I undertook a huge project where I added 12 new public access computers and a new network printer.

I was extremely busy because I was doing this all alone.

At one point, I had to access her computer to change some network settings and install a new program that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

About 30 minutes after I worked at her desk, I was in the middle of trying to figure out a problematic database issue when a patron stopped me to ask me a question.
I wasn't supposed to be out there helping patrons but no one else was around and this poor person didn't know that. So, I stopped my frantic IT work and assisted her.
In the middle of everything, my moronic coworker comes up to me in a total panic.

Her: De! I can't find my spider!
Me: Your what?
Her: My spider! My spider solitaire!
Me: The computer game, spider solitaire?
Her: Yes! It's gone. When I click the start button, it's not there anymore!

Now, I've figured out that when I was messing with her computer, I opened a few programs, causing the solitaire program to "fall off" the quickstart list in XP but what I couldn't understand is why she couldn't FIND it in "Programs". What's more; WHO FUCKING CARES? I'm WORKING. I'm in the middle of one of the biggest projects in the history of this establishment, PLUS helping a patron and she interrupts me because she can't access her fucking computer game...AT WORK!!

I was standing in the middle of a public place so I couldn't go absolutely apeshit like I wanted so I calmly said, "I'll help you with that when I get a chance."

I had no intention of helping her but the 18 year old part-timer came in a little while later and helped the moron with her pressing computer emergency.

But, lest you think she's the ONLY moron where I work...
another coworker overheard me talking about my cat, Hemingway, and said "Oh, what a cute name! Isn't Hemingway a golf club?"

Granted, she's not a librarian but ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME???
A golf club???