Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Bloody Ball

I don't know what it is about me but I like a good fight.
Now, I don't get the opportunity to actually fight with someone but I like watching a good knockdown drag out fight.
I love it when someone gets mad enough to just go after someone.
I think that's why I like hockey. I don't really give a shit who's scoring goals, I just want to see some toothless Canadian throw down his gloves and start whaling on another toothless Canadian.

But nothing is more exciting than a bench-clearing brawl in a baseball game.
I was hoping for one while the Astros were playing the Cubs.

The night before last, I watched the catcher, Michael Barrett and the pitcher, Carlos Zambrano get frustrated with the umpires bad pitching calls. After a really good pitch being called a ball, Barrett comes out of his catchers crouch and stands in front of homeplate, giving a sign to everyone out on the field. I was watching the game with my Astro-loving mother and I said, "He's telling Zambrano to hit the batter, I just know it."
The very next pitch caught Aubrey Huff in the middle of the back and took him down.
He finally got up and took his base. The fans were pissed. They booed Zambrano all night.

Later, I can't remember if it was Oswalt or a relief pitcher but he hit one of the Cubs guys and it seemed intentional to me.
Tensions were high.

Last night, Roger Clemens was up to bat and that little pipsqueak pitcher Matteo HITS Clemens.
Roger Clemens is such a big, strong dude that the ball sort of hit his arm and just dropped.
The Rocket doesn't give much away, he just glanced over at the pitcher's mound as if to say "Don't worry, young grasshoppah, I'm about to take you to school."
Unfortunately, the next time it was Matteos turn to bat, a pinch hitter was put in.
The crowd was unhappy. Roger didn't care, he quickly fired a ball right into the batter's left arm.

Of course the crowd cheered and the umpire came unglued.

God, how I wanted a fight. I wanted someone to charge the mound and the players to come flying out of their dugouts!
What is wrong with me that I'm so blood-thirsty? Is it the violent world we now live in? Is it television or movies? Is it rap music?

Or is the sight of a bunch of men beating the shit out of each other something a woman's dreams are made of?

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