Minute Maid Park, that is.
Yesterday the Astros played the Brewers after a 7 game losing streak.
I wasn't feeling very confident. In the last three years, I have yet to see a winning game in person.
It was like I was a jinx.
The day didn't start out very well. We rushed to the park to get there early enough to get a free Astros stadium blanket. They were only giving them out to he first 10,000 people. The game started at 6, the doors open at 4 so that meant getting there at 3 to get in line.
After parking illegally, praying the car wouldn't be towed during the game, I got in line underneath the blazing sun.
Thank goodness for my iPod. I listened to my Jim Rome podcasts and the time went by very quickly.
I was relieved to get out of the sun and grab my free stadium blanket AND a $5 Dr. Pepper.
As we trekked to our seats, we realized that we were positioned directly under the unforgiving sun. There was no shade to be found.
I was hot, crowded and sweating. I'm not a nice person when I'm sweating. I hate to sweat if sex isn't involved and in the crowd of 40,000+ people, sex definitely wasn't happening.
To make matters worse, Wilford Brimley's long lost extremely fat brother settled himself next to me.
He was decked out in a stained white t-shirt, dirty jeans and suspenders. Yes, I said suspenders.
He took up his chair and some of mine. To make matters worse, he got up a million times to get him and his equally large daughter food.
I swear to you that they must have spent at LEAST $100 on food. I saw a minimum of 6 empty $5 soda cups and I witnessed the devouring of 4 BBQ sausage dogs, nachos, popcorn and possibly a hamburger.
I was wedged in next to this man and everytime he sat down, he somehow grabbed the tail of my blouse and took it with him into his chair. I would have to grab my shirt and yank it back out of his seat.
I was pissed. It was so fucking hot, I was sweating and Wilford Brimley was sweating on me.
After about an inning of this, I spotted the margarita man. Ahh...alcohol.
I paid $11 for a 3 foot frozen margarita and everyone around me noticed a marked improvement in my mood as I sucked the remains of my drink from bottom of my 3 foot glass.
Suddenly, the world seemed like a better place. I was cooler because the sun was setting behind the park, the fat guy seemed to shrink a little and the Astros were playing amazingly well. Then in the 6th inning something amazing happened. Wilford and his daughter left. Now, I wasn't complaining, but these people spent enough money on food to feed the entire continent of Africa and they leave in the 6th inning? That was so weird to me. But whatever...I got to stretch out and I was suddenly even happier!
I had to work really hard for it, but they finally won for me. 10 - 1!
Before the game began, though, I got to watch batting practice and more importantly, I got to watch the bullpen warm up. This included my boy, Brad Lidge. I was so close! SO CLOSE....
Le sigh...
More from Minute Maid Park:
and...Luuuuuuuke Scott!
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