Sunday, April 2, 2006

Hey, look at me! I'm blogging!!

I live in this alternate universe that takes place inside my head.
When life becomes too much, when problems or issues start to overwhelm me, I retreat to that place inside my head.
When I lay in bed trying to sleep and I keep thinking about work, bills, family problems, etc; I go there.
I remain in my alternative universe until I fall asleep or I realize that I'm NOT going to sleep and I either turn on the TV, pick up a book or hop online.
I don't face my issues. I do that in the alternate universe or AU.

I think if it weren't for my alternate universe, I'd have given up a long time ago.
My life isn't always fun or interesting but I have a ball in the AU.

The knowledge that I have been able to sustain an AU for these many years causes me to realize how powerful our brain is. Our thought processes are so unique.
It is our thoughts and ideas that make us who we are. They are what make us individuals.
Our dreams (asleep or awake) make us special.
Our brain powers all of this.

Some brains aren't as powerful as others, I know this.
Inside my head are millions of alternate universes, ideas, thoughts, and dreams. I am overwhelmed by my intellectual potential.
I'm overwhelmed...and stuck. My brain isn't powerful enough to translate those many thoughts and ideas into word (or Word).

Somedays I do better but in these last several days, I have been empty. My brain has been working like crazy but I've been incapable of articulating it.

Is this normal? Am I unusual?

I'm unhappy with the direction my blog is going. I wish I could write about something more intelligent or be funnier.
I think I've lost my edge. Shit..or I never had one!

There was a time when I wanted to write about politics but the waters have gotten so muddy now that I've turned my back on it.
I was becoming increasingly unhappy and as soon as I stopped writing about it and studying it so closely, I felt better.
So, what does a person blog about and still be entertaining and possibly informative?

Why do we blog anyway? There are the instapundit-type guys that want to inform us, to keep us knowledgeable but the people who blog about going to the store for milk...why are they blogging?
Are we desperate for someone to know we exist? Are we trying to say "Hey! I'm here. For God's sake...NOTICE ME!!"?

It's true, though. I fear dying without anyone remembering I was here.

Maybe we all do.

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