Welcome to the Apocalypse...or The Year that was 2016

This is the time of year I write my Christmas newsletter.  It started because I have a perfectly nice cousin who has a PERFECTLY nice family and a PERFECTLY nice life would send out her family's yearly newsletter outlining how PERFECTLY nice their year was.
They donated to charity and their kid befriended the one black kid at their school, went skiing, paid for someone's drink in the line behind them at Starbucks...you know...amazing things.
So, I wanted to do my own version of a Christmas newsletter to show how PERFECTLY messed up I was in comparison.

But 2016 has been very special and the one thing I'd really like to say about it is....


WHAT. THE. FUCK?

I mean....really...

WHAT THE FUCK???

Is this real life?  I mean...did this year actually happen?
2016 is trying to kill us.  KILL US ALL.

2016 took Prince, man.  PRINCE.  And Bowie! WHY?
We lost Alan Rickman...it's just not fair!
Why did Garry Shandling have to die?
And Mrs. Brady? Alan Thicke?
I could go on and on because the list is VERY long but we can just wait for the In Memoriam at the Oscars in a couple of months.  It'll last 12 hours.

2016 gave us the most bizarre presidential election to date.  The biggest losers were the American people.  We are watching the end of times.  You can either have several drinks and watch it burn or brush up on your foreign languages.

Personally, 2016 wasn't TOO bad.  My resolution for the year wasn't about doing things or quitting things...it was about one word:  Simplicity.
For too long I allowed things to overwhelm my life, so, I quit them.  Responsibilities that weren't dire got pushed aside, people who were making me miserable were DFA'd and I made myself stay home more. I read more, I watched more Netflix, I played with Dashiell more, I drank coffee on the patio more and I enjoyed my own company more.
I even spent 3 days at my sister's lake house with just me, a giant pile of books and my dog.  It was heavenly.  I'm pretty damn good company!

I invited a crap load of people to come out and celebrate my birthday in June and you won't believe this but SO MANY OF THEM SHOWED UP!  I don't know why so many would come out to watch me drink to great excess & party with me but I'm not going to question it too much.  I'm just going to be grateful for their friendship and try to be a better friend to them.

2016 tried to kill me with alcohol because on my birthday, I threw up from too much of it for the first time since I was 19.  I know! I can't believe it, either!
It turns out that when really amazing friends (Nicole & Kim) leave $40 worth of bagels & Motrin by your bed when you pass out, you don't have a giant hangover the next morning.
My friends took such good care of me that night and I will always be thankful.

On a personal level, it turns out that when you simplify your life and reduce the drama, things aren't so bad.  Maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or maybe I've just finally realized how to fucking live my life!
But here is my advice to you:  make a list of all the things that bring you drama and stress you out.  Get rid of the things you can get rid of and lessen your involvement in the things that must stay.

But even if 2016 wasn't so bad for me, I worry about this world we live in.  Terrible things are happening but we're more concerned about getting our brows on fleek or keep up with the new horrible thing on reality TV or contouring according to YouTube videos than about what's happening in our world.  When people weren't paying attention, bad things happened and none of us know how to fix it.
Now, don't get me wrong...I believe we all should find things that make us happy and make our lives a little less grey.  Life is short so we MUST find those pockets of peace and happiness but we also must balance our personal enjoyment with things that make the world a better place....
and that segue was AWESOME because it brings me to my word of 2017:

Balance

We've got to do something to balance the good and bad in the world.  We have to balance our lives and our relationships.  We have to try at least, right?

I spoke to the awesome Mel Vega about actually DOING something.  Because we weren't doing something and suddenly we're dealing with 4 years of fear and uncertainty so maybe we can't do anything about THAT but we can do our part.  We can help fund things that are in a precarious position, we can help the under-served in some capacity...we can DO something.  I want to do something! If you're interested, sign up for Mel's newsletter and maybe we can come up with some ideas.  We must make 2017 better!

So there you have it...my life isn't perfect.  I'm still trying to stay off carbs but my GOD...french fries and Little Debbie snack cakes are just so good.
I still find myself spending way too much money and not saving enough.
I lost some friends this year that I miss so dearly.  Sometimes I dream about them and feel their loss all over again.
I adopted a kitten that was badly in need of a home and the first 2 days I thought he was perfect and now I'm thinking that he was just buttering me up for the inevitable kitten-monster phase that I'm hoping he grows out of quickly! In the meantime, I'm buying stock in neosporin and bandaids.
I'm still waiting until I'm down to the worst pair of underwear I own to do laundry.  I often find myself playing "What's that smell?" coming from my refrigerator because I tend to leave things in there a while.
I haven't bought new clothes in years because...what's the point? They're all going to be black anyway.  I only bought new walking shoes recently because mine had holes in the soles and I might as well have gone barefoot while walking Dash.
So yeah....some things haven't changed in 2016, I'm still me...just an older version.

Happy Holidays n shit!