I had a very detailed dream about being fired from my job.
I'm not sure if this was a nightmare or wishful thinking.
It's not that I want to be fired but I was just thinking how nice it would be to stay home a lot more. However, without a job, I wouldn't have a home to stay home in...so yeah, it's a catch 22 type situation. Or whatever.
I had a bad weekend. It started with me losing my iPhone.
Friday night, I went to dinner and when I drove up to the restaurant, I sent a quick email and slid the phone into the front pocket of my giant purse.
Then I went in, had dinner and as I was leaving, I dug around in my purse but couldn't find my phone. I thought maybe I put it in the giant black hole part of my bag and I would dig around more when I got into the car. Nothing. I pulled everything out of my purse and nothing.
I tore everything apart, searched under the car seats, between the seats, went back into the restaurant and questioned the staff, searched the now clean table and the floor under the table. Nothing.
I went back to my car and started having a panic attack. This is my iPhone - which is my life- my music, movies, pictures, apps, emails, phone numbers and addresses. Not to mention that there is NO way I could afford a replacement iPhone. I was fucked and I knew it. I kept picturing some asshole somehow slipping it out of my purse and now he was the proud owner of a new iPhone with a pink cover and I was fucked.
I literally BAWLED while I drove to my mother's house to use her phone or computer to discontinue my service. Running through my mind were all the things I needed to do after I called AT&T; change passwords to my emails and other websites. My phone is password protected but I'm sure all it would take is a google search to figure out how to break through that security.
Anyway, as I'm driving and cryin, I start thinking about how this is just so unreal. I distinctly remember putting my phone in the FRONT pocket. How could it go missing? Was there a hole in the lining?
At a red light, I reached over and stuck my hand deep into the pocket and mother of god...there was a giant hole. I reached into it and felt my fucking iPhone. INSIDE. THE. LINING.
So, I cried in panic and misery for 20 minutes and then cried in relief for 10. 30 minutes of hysteria on a Friday evening. I needed a drink.
I'm not done.
Sunday was my god-daughter's bridal shower. I was in charge of shower games and gifts and the cake.
I have a friend who makes beautiful, elaborate cakes so she volunteered to make it. I picked it up on Saturday and it was a gorgeous heart-shaped, three-layer red velvet cake with a cherry almond filling, decorated with hearts and love.
She secured it in a cake box and we put it in my backseat for the ride home.
I drove carefully, I swear, but when I got home, the top layer of the cake was not at the top anymore. It was sitting behind the cake and the filling was everywhere.
Just twelve hours before the shower, the cake was ruined.
I just stared at it for a long time, not believing what I was seeing. Then my mind started working furiously, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. This cake was a lost cause so I called Krogers. I must have sounded panicked because the nice lady in the bakery assured me everything would be ok. They were about to close but she asked me about the shower colors, then looked at what they had pre-made.
The colors were red and white and she found a white cake with some flowers and red ladybugs. She would write on it with red icing if I wanted.
Then she put my name on it and put it aside and said I could ask anyone at the front to go back to the bakery and get it for me.
That sweet lady at Krogers saved me.
Yes, it was a silly looking cake for an elegant shower and I came close to throwing myself off my balcony but in the end, it was just a cake (as people kept telling me) and it did taste pretty damn good.
On Sunday evening, I rested and drank. Monday, I did nothing and spoke to no one. I'm over it now.
