Every year my golden cousin writes a Christmas newsletter filling us all in on her amazing life with her amazing husband and children. This year there were trips to Hawaii, hiking, lounging by the pool with girlfriends, wine, scuba diving and the incredible accomplishments of her golden offspring.
I usually have to drink heavily prior to reading it which leads to my own version of a Christmas newsletter.
The only problem is I don't have a perfect family, trips to exotic locales or any money.
I spent New Year's eve at home but I didn't mind because I didn't want to leave my little Piper who died two days later.
After that the whole year seems to be a blur so I used my Instagram account to refresh my memory and obviously I have a possibly unhealthy attachment to my dog, and an obsession with notebooks, paper and pens. I made an extremely questionable decision involving bangs and I did that sober!
However there were plenty of things I didn't do sober… Like my birthday. I celebrated with so many awesome friends. I don't know why they all like me but I don't care...they bought me vodka. I only have a vague memory of returning to my hotel room that night. I'm so lucky I have such good friends that take care of me and stop me from doing things like telling a scary looking lady holding her stilettos in her hand on Main and Texas at 2 am that I liked her weave.
According to Instagram I ate a lot of sushi, drank a lot of coffee, went to a lot of Astros games and took a lot of awkward selfies.
In 2015 I got tattooed again, tested for every G.I. abnormality under the sun, scheduled a surgery then canceled.
I learned that if I needed a place to stay after surgery no one in my family would offer to have me. I also learned that the friends you choose can become your real family, that dogs are the best therapists but can't prescribe meds, that if you quit gluten and carbs your friends will get so sick of hearing about it, that I paint pretty well when I've had lots of wine, that driving a new car is pretty cool but BUYING a new car makes me want to vomit and crying at the dealership gets you a nice discount.
I would like to say that previous years I learned that bottomless mimosas are a bad idea but I did it again at a birthday brunch and ended up spending a Sunday afternoon wasted in downtown Houston, giving uneaten gyros to homeless guys.
Aside from my awkward moments and embarrassing memories, I spent a lot of quality time with my friends, my dog, my mom and my books.
I don't have a fine house, fancy cars, perfect children or money to burn but 2015 wasn't so bad – I lived.
