What is the What?

I finished What is the What by Dave Eggers last night.

I am a big Dave Eggers fan. I make it a point to buy every book he writes so out of obligation, I picked up What is the What right after it was released. I had no idea what it was about but Eggers wrote it so I had to read it.

I was unprepared for what I learned. At times it became so painful for me that I had to put it down and move on to something else.
I came back to it Tuesday night and couldn't put it down.

From Amazon:

Valentino Achak Deng, real-life hero of this engrossing epic, was a refugee from the Sudanese civil war-the bloodbath before the current Darfur bloodbath-of the 1980s and 90s. In this fictionalized memoir, Eggers (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius) makes him an icon of globalization. Separated from his family when Arab militia destroy his village, Valentino joins thousands of other "Lost Boys," beset by starvation, thirst and man-eating lions on their march to squalid refugee camps in Ethiopia and Kenya, where Valentino pieces together a new life. He eventually reaches America, but finds his quest for safety, community and fulfillment in many ways even more difficult there than in the camps: he recalls, for instance, being robbed, beaten and held captive in his Atlanta apartment.

This guy was 6 years old when his village was attacked and he and thousands of other boys walked first to Ethiopia, then to Kenya.
What were you doing when you were six? Did you watch your friends and family die? Did you witness boys being eaten by lions or shot down by military helicopters. How about watching friends collapse from starvation, dehydration and disease?
Yeah, me neither.

You'd think that was enough but he grows up in a refugee camp where food was scarce, clothes were more valuable than gold and your safety wasn't guaranteed.
I thought it would be a happy ending in America, but here, he is victimized by a system who believes he is invisible and criminals who see him as an easy target.
It's almost too much to take but Valentino doesn't lose hope for long and somehow finds the strength to not only survive but to succeed and he shames me.

Seriously, read this book.....Cuz I told you so!

Crashing Memories

Tomorrow will be one year since Crash died. It seems like I've been without him a million years now.
I still miss him so much and think about him every single day.
I'm starting to get used to just having the two dogs but every so often I slip up and call one of them Crash and that makes me sad.

I sometimes say to myself "I wish he were still here." but I have to add to it, "I wish he were still here and healthy." He was sick for so long that I'd never wish for him to go through all of that again.
When he was healthy he was SO much fun.
Zoe is a very hyper, crazy dog but Crash was more laid back and more in tune with me.
He loved squeak toys. He's the only one that would play with them so every year at Christmas I got him one or two.
He would play with it for a while and then move on to another toy.
There is still a basket full of them in my living room. I can't bear to part with them yet.
He had two or three favorite toys; a red squeaky bone that my friend David brought when he came to visit 7 years ago, a purple tiny football with that sherpa/wool stuff wrapped around it and a really soft squeaky spider.
I discovered that Crash would fetch his toy exactly 5 times. After the fifth time, he wouldn't go after it. He'd look at you and go, "Ok, this isn't fun anymore."
No one would believe me that it was exactly five throws until David was here and he tested it out every single day for 3 or 4 days.

Crash also let you know he was out of water or food by flipping his bowl over. None of the other dogs would do this but Crash would sniff the bowl then take his paw and flip it.
It was really infuriating when the bowl wasn't completely empty.

Long before Piper came into our lives, Zoe and Crash stayed at my parents' house while I was at work.
Every morning, I would drive them to Mom and Dad's and every evening, I would pick them up.
Because of that, Mom and Dad became very close to them. My dad spoiled Crash horribly!
Crash would jump into my dad's recliner, climb into his arms and flip over on his back. Dad would hold him and rock him like a baby for hours.
I've never seen a dog who could sleep as long as Crash and he did a LOT of sleeping in my dad's arms.

One of my mom's favorite memories was when I brought Crash over to my sister's house for some family gathering. We were late so everyone was already there. We walked into a house full of people and for some reason, everyone was sitting either on the floor or on the couches.
Crash looked around and suddenly he spotted my mother. He picked her out of the crowd and RAN as hard as he could and jumped in her lap. She said that made her feel so special.

Later that same evening, he discovered my sister's dog's toy and he started playing with it.
He took turns taking it to different family members and letting them throw it.
He stopped at five.

Crash would also do what's called a "bichon blitz". This means, when the moment struck him, he would run like crazy through the house, stopping to lay his front paws on the floor with his back end up in the air and bark at the other dogs or imaginary foes.
And for some reason, Crash loved the bathtub. When he was in a blitzing mood..he would hop into the tub and run around in circles barking his head off.
I laughed each and every single time I saw him do that.
It never made any sense but maybe he just liked making me laugh.

I loved that I could take Crash anywhere. He was always well-mannered and usually just sat in my lap and took in the scenery.
Zoe is too hyper and Piper is too damn scared of everything.

I miss how soft his fur was...like cotton and I even miss his bad breath and the way he'd lick you RIGHT in the mouth when you weren't paying attention.

For Christmas last year, Lon bought me a James Avery dog bone charm and had "Crash" engraved on it.
I cried when I opened it and then it made HER cry.
It's my favorite charm and I love looking at it and remembering.

I don't know why I'm writing all of this. I guess I didn't want to write about his death anymore...I just wanted to remember how he lived.

Stardust

This would have been a quick read had I spent more time with it. In any case, I finally finished it today.
It was a fun fairy tale. I have to keep reminding myself: Fairy Tale.
The end was this weird rush of information to hurry and tie up all the loose ends. That kind of annoys me with some books but I overlook it in Stardust because of its (again) fairy tale/children's story qualities. (With the semi-graphic sex scene, I probably wouldn't recommend it to children, however.)

I would recommend it if you like fun stories.
I'll be interested to see the movie now.

Book Blogging

I've become obsessed with reading book blogs. That's all I've done for the last two days.

I came across this meme and thought it would be fun.
Feel free to steal it.

Look at the list of books below: * Bold the ones you’ve read * Mark in blue the ones you want to read * Cross out the ones that you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole (or use red coloring) * Finally, italicize the ones you've never heard of. *

1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible (some/most but not all)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I'm not going to cross anything off because when it comes to books, I never say never.

Where in the world am I?

So...you may have noticed I haven't been around much.
You may not have noticed at all.

I took a week of vacation to do some serious spring cleaning. I planned on cleaning out a scary closet, rearranging furniture, totally clean out my kitchen, getting rid of things I never use. I was going to shampoo the carpet, even.
How much of this did I get done?
I cleaned out half of the scary closet.
My week didn't turn out entirely like I planned. In fact, it was a nightmarish week.
I started out the weekend with helping my sister and her family move into their new house.
They built this beautiful home on the water (on a canal, really) and I helped organize boxes, unpack, etc.
On Monday, I went shopping for my cleaning supplies and garbage bags and got a new cell phone.

Tuesday, I started cleaning. I tackled that scary closet like there was no tomorrow.
I threw EVERYTHING away. Bags and bags and boxes and boxes of crap went down to the dumpster.
Let me just mention that I live on the second floor so each trip to the dumpster involved a flight of stairs. Let me also mention that it was 105 degrees...not including the heat index. (My sister's outside thermometer measured the heat index at 120 on that day.)

By 4pm, I was exhausted and disgustingly sweaty. I decided that was enough for the day so I showered and went over to visit my sister.
I woke up Wednesday and I couldn't move my neck. I guess with all that heavy lifting I pulled something.
I couldn't pick anything up or bend over without being in pain so I declared it laundry day.
I had bedding and old clothes that needed to be washed before it was donated.
Wednesday was also the day that the media descended on us. There was a terrible tropical storm headed our way. "Run for your lives!!!", they said.
My best friend was out of town and I was taking care of her pets. Her dogs were outside in their dog run and I was worried about them being in the storm so I called her and we devised a plan to get them inside and puppy proof the house. I made 4 or 5 trips to her house that day.
Typically, the storm didn't hit us. After the rains cycled through, life went back to normal.
Thursday, I tried to clean but my vacuum cleaner broke. By this time, I was fed up. Obviously, I wasn't going to get anything done and my vacation week was almost up. Screw spring cleaning!
I took the vacuum in for repair on Friday and spent the rest of the day driving around getting my expired license tag renewed and looking for a place to renew my expired inspection sticker.
Everyone was either SUPER busy or closed. Since when do inspection places close on Fridays?
Now, on Saturday is when my VACATION week gets nightmarish.
The vacuum repairman called that morning to tell me it was ready and that he closes early on Saturdays.
It was pouring down rain but I wanted to at least vacuum this weekend and I needed to check on my friend's dogs.
I threw on some clothes and my flip flops and left my apartment in the rain.
On the very first stair step, my feet slipped out from under me and it was as if the rest of it happened in slow motion. Suddenly, I was in the air. I had time to think "Oh shit. I hope no one sees this!" before I hit the second or third step. I must have thrown my arms out to catch myself but I just kept going. I hit two or three steps before I finally stopped.
The first thing I noticed was that my right thumb really hurt.
The second thing I noticed was that my ass was wet.
THEN I checked to see if anyone had seen this debacle. I looked around and miraculously, I was the only one outside.
I got up and walked the rest of the way down and got in my car like nothing happened.
When the horror of the moment started wearing off I realized I hurt in many different places.
My thumb was already started to swell and I realized I had a knot on the back of my calf from where I must have hit one of the steps. Of course, my ass was hurting pretty good, too.
Like a freaking trooper, I picked up my vacuum and headed to Lon's house to check on her pets.
Keep in mind that it was still raining. Mother Nature didn't stop her deluge just because I was in pain.
I guess I was in a bit of a hurry because the first step I took on Lon's porch had my foot slipping out from under me again and yes....yes ladies and gentlemen, I fell...AGAIN.
This time I fell on my right knee, bending my toe and smashing it into the hard concrete.
My arms instinctively flailed out to catch me but instead I scraped my hand across her brick and instantly, I started dripping blood everywhere.
I actually yelled out "Mother of GOD!!!!". How could this keep happening?
I realized then that it was my shoes. My $3.50 Old Navy rubber flip flops!
I got inside, grabbed a paper towel to staunch the blood flow, fed the dogs, bird and the fish and got the hell out of there.
I went home, took a shower and went back to bed and stayed there all freaking day.
It was just too dangerous for me to go out.

Today, I'm in terrible pain. I must have jarred my back and neck pretty well because I'm in pain from my toes to the top of my head. I am bruised all over my body and I broke my right big toenail and messed up my new pedicure.
In short, I am a fucked-up mess.

I can't tell you how glad I am to be back at work today.
I need a vacation from my vacation.

Hurricane Schmurricane

I guess it was about Wednesday or Thursday when the media started talking about Hurricane Dean.
They were predicting it hitting the Texas coast by Tuesday at a Category 4 or 5.
I checked the NOAA website and the "cone of doom" did include Texas but it was just too far out to know.
That doesn't matter to our local media. They screamed out their usual "We're all gonna die!" and got the local governments all worked up. The mayor of Galveston held a press conference and the smaller city governments were meeting to devise evacuation plans.
I was just sitting at home, shaking my head. This is all so ridiculous.

I evacuated for Rita two years ago and I swore then that I wouldn't do it again.
I wasn't going to leave for Dean and better yet, Dean wasn't coming here!

On Thursday, there wasn't a piece of plywood to be found in Galveston County. I passed truck after truck full of plywood.
I went to the grocery store on Friday and people were racing through grabbing case after case of water and canned goods.
I bought a 24 pack of water, not because I was stocking up, but because I was out of bottled water at home.
The cashier saw it and said "Only one?". I said "Yeah. I'm not stocking up. As a matter of fact," I jabbed my finger in his direction, "I'm boycotting this hurricane. I'm not going to fall for the media scare tactics. This hurricane isn't coming and I'm not even going to prepare for it!"
I realized that I sounded nuts but it was too late. The words were already out of my mouth and the 16 year old kid was staring at me like I had two heads.

I don't care because, guess what? I was right. Take a look at Dean.

Now, what are all these people going to do with their plywood and water?

Penis, Plural

There's a whole lotta penis in the news today.

First a midget gets his penis stuck in a vacuum.

Then a woman sets her ex-husband's junk on fire.

Why do people constantly do things to their genitals?

Genitals are for fun and procreation. Not for extreme sports and revenge.

Some man in Europe cut off his own penis because he thinks he should be a woman.
You know, I'm an open minded person and I believe that if you truly feel you're not the gender your body says you are, then you go girl/boy/it and get some gender reassignment surgery. I'm totally behind you on it.

However, I'm just not down with the DIY Sex Change.

Protect your junk, people! No one else is gonna do it for you!

Book Questionnaire

I got this from Sheila.

What are you reading right now?

Stardust by Neil Gaiman and The Know-It-All by A. J. Jacobs.

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?

I'm not sure. I bought a stack of books at Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago including Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro which I've been wanting to read for a while.

What magazines do you have in your bathroom right now?

None. Don't get me started on this but I don't GET reading in the bathroom. Who spends that much time on the toilet?

What’s the worst thing you were ever forced to read?

I can't remember being forced to read something bad but there was a book about a year ago that really pissed me off. I held on until the end expecting a decent pay off and all I got was crap. Now, I can't remember what that book was. I've blocked it out.

What’s the one book you always recommend to just about everyone?

It depends who I'm talking to. Everyone in my age group just HAS to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers.
I guess I would recommend David Sedaris to just about anyone. He's brilliantly funny.

Admit it, the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don’t they?

They better! I'm one of them!

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don’t like it at all?

I've recommended A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius to people much older than me and they hated it. I really think it's a generational thing.

Do you read books while you eat? While you bathe? While you watch movies or TV? While you listen to music? While you’re on the computer? While you’re having sex? While you’re driving?

Yes, to all of the above, except for the sex part and the driving part. (staying with Sheila's answer, here)

When you were little, did other children tease you about your reading habits?

Not really. I can remember being ashamed of it and not actually telling people.
It must have been the 6th grade when I ordered Gone With the Wind from Scholastic Books.
Do you remember getting the Weekly Reader and ordering books SUPER cheap from them through the school? Did anyone else do that?
Anyway, I ordered GWTW and it was a HUGE book. It was delivered to the morning class and I had to carry it around all day.
Someone saw it on my desk and looked at me like I was crazy. "You're going to READ that?". Suddenly, I was embarrassed so I said "Oh no, my cousin wanted me to order it for her."
I lied. How sad is that?
Gone With the Wind is my number 1 favorite book to this day and it makes me sad to think I lied about reading it when I was 11 or 12.

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn’t put it down?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (me too Sheila!)

Speaking of hating people

I can remember loving Walmart. I remember just going to go...to look at all the items, to buy just a little something even if I didn't need it.
I can remember a time when going to Walmart seemed fun.
The more I start to hate people, the more I hate Walmart. Why? Well...Walmart is full of people and often times, the WORST people.
There is no end to the trash you'll see when you step foot inside a Walmart.
I've gotten to the point where I will drive completely out of my way to hit a Target or I'll pay three times as much for items at Walgreens.
For convenience sake, I went to Walmart Wednesday night and then Thursday night I had to go back to return the horrible earbuds I purchased.
The return itself was easy and as I was walking back to my car, I walked behind a truck. The vehicle was idling and as I got directly behind it, I saw the reverse lights from the corner of my eye.
I'm too stubborn to frantically run or jump out of the way, as if I'm daring this bitch to hit me.
But suddenly, a thought struck me and I actually said it out loud, "Oh please don't hit me. I do NOT want to die in the Walmart parking lot!"
I couldn't think of anything worse than to take my last breath laying on spit covered asphalt, surrounded by 100 people with about 10 teeth between them.

As I was driving through the parking lot, I noticed a Walmart employee walking to his own car. He must have been about 90 and time had bent him over so that he was almost staring directly at the ground as he walked.
He's too old to be working. He should be retired, enjoying his last days with his grandkids and great-grandkids.
I thought about all the really old people that work at Walmart. Like the elderly man who greats you at the door with glasses so thick, you have no idea if he's looking at you or not.
They also hire the mentally and physically challenged. I know of two Down Syndrome employees who gather the baskets from the parking lot and I've seen wheel-chair bound employees doing various tasks through-out the store.
I'm glad Walmart gives people like that a stable place to work.
But maybe I don't like going because I have to look at these poor unfortunate people who are actually LUCKY to work at Walmart and then I can't bitch about how rough I have it because I can't afford a YSL Muse at $1200 or I couldn't get a pedicure this month because both my license tag and my inspection sticker expired.
My life is pretty good. Damn those unfortunates who make me realize it!

What do you stick in your ears?

Have I told you how much I love my iPod? If I could marry it, I would.
I admit it, I was one of those people who said, "I don't need one of them dang iPods" possibly spoken in a redneck accent but...oh, how I was wrong.
I want to cradle it and kiss it at night and compose odes to the glory of it's pink exterior and the musical and podcasty goodness on the inside.
I'm not having such a great relationship with my earbuds, however.
The ones that come with the iPod hurt my ears (I have freakishly small ears and ear holes). So, I went on a hunt for the perfect earbud. I'm on my 4th pair and the sound is unbelievable.
The others didn't necessarily hurt my ears but it sounded like I was listening to music through my neighbor's bedroom wall.
The ones I have now are exquisite. The sound is perfect...
but they hurt my fucking ears.
Why can't I have both incredible sound and comfort? Why do I have to sacrifice one for the other? And why are "quality" earbuds so fucking expensive?
I saw some for $300. Are you freakin kidding me? $300 for two little pod thingies you stick in your ear?
I have these Phillips buds and I paid about $20 for them.
I'm not adverse to paying $30 or on a good day $40 for a good pair but it's really goes against everything I hold dear to pay more than that for these stupid things.

Do you love your earbuds? What do you have?

It's all about how I hate people: The Rant

I was driving to work today looking at the people in the cars around me.
What is wrong with the world today? What is wrong with people?
I watched a man in a truck open his door at a red light, stick his head out of the door and spit on the ground.
I can promise you something. I have NEVER felt the need to open my car door and spit on the road.
I started thinking about how often I see grown men spit. I've seen them spit on the sidewalk, spit in parking lots, I had a neighbor who spit on the stairs.
Guys, I have a question: Why must you spit?
I do not go around spitting and neither do any of the females I know. I've never felt compelled to leave a glob of my saliva (or whatever it is) anywhere.

Since I'm ranting about people.....Why are there so many unkempt people in the world.
I'm not talking about poverty level or homeless people, I'm talking about normal people who go out into public with filthy clothes, smelling of body odor, cigarette smoke or food deep fried in lard.
I see people with dirty, greasy hair, people wearing freshly stained t-shirts and mud-encrusted shoes.
I don't have a lot of money and I don't buy expensive shoes but I can guarantee you that when I leave my house, they are clean....as are my clothes.
Do people just not give a shit? Have they lost every ounce of respect for themselves and the people around them?

I was about to bitch about stupid people but most people can't help being stupid. Most of the time they don't even know they're stupid. I don't like it that they have the IQ of a groundhog but there's not a whole lot they can do about it.

People with really bad grammar get on my nerves. I'm not talking about texting or IM speak. I'm talking about having a conversation with people who can't remember anything they learned in elementary school.
Hell, read a book or listen to people on TV. Do you speak like they do? Maybe you're doing something wrong.
When it comes to writing, little things get on my nerves.
Aside from typos, a lot of people don't know that it's "a lot" and not "alot".
There is a difference between "then" and "than". "Then" demonstrates a progression of time. "Than" shows how items are compared.
"Saw" and "Seen" can't be used interchangeably. "Seen" needs a helping verb. "Saw" does not.
And do NOT get me started on "There", "Their" and "They're". Not to mention "You're" and "Your"...oh and "Two", "To" and "Too".
Oh my....I better stop this now. I'm starting to hyperventilate.

God. No wonder I'm single.

It Slices and Dices

Sister #1 thought she'd be a good sister and buy us all these professional knives for Christmas last year.
We each got one with it's own case and sheath.
This is one bad ass knife. Seriously, it's like one of those knives you'd see on Iron Chef or Benihana's or some shit.
I knew it was bad news when Sister #3 shows up at a family gathering looking like Michael Jackson with all of her fingers bandaged.
"Holy shit! What happened to you?"
"Well, I was using that knife that #1 gave us on Monday and I sliced my index finger open. Then on Tuesday, I used that knife and sliced my thumb open. Then on......"

Well, surely Sister #3 is a moron. She must not be doing it right.

I rarely have cause to prepare or even cut food in my home but for some stupid reason, over the weekend, I purchased a block of smoked gouda and thought I'd use said bad ass knife to slice me a few pieces for a sandwich.
The first time I tried it, I ended up breaking off a hunk of the cheese at the bottom as the pressure from bad ass knife was too much for the block of smoked gouda.

So, today, I decided to try a different tactic. It was early in the morning you see...I wasn't thinking clearly and I'll just leave it at that.
Needless to say, I cut the holy crap out of my thumb.
It's not a slice...it's a deep stab wound that even went through the top of my nail.
As blood gushed from my moronic wound, I started chanting to no one in particular, "Oh that's not good, not good, not good, not good, not good."
I danced around the kitchen trying to figure out what to do.
I grabbed a dish towel and applied pressure to my thumb while different scenarios raced through my head about going to the ER and getting stitches.
I squeezed on my towel-covered thumb for a few minutes, then gathered the courage to remove the towel to survey the damage.
It wasn't even bleeding anymore.

I knew it. Sister #3 is a moron!

Astros stuff: Jennings goes from BooHoo to WooHoo!

Angela, don't read this!

Sunday, I had tickets (which were a birthday gift from my cousin in San Diego) to the Astros vs Padres game.
The seats were amazing. We were so close to the on deck circle, I could examine the fabric of the players' jerseys.
We were happy little suckers until our starting pitcher, Jason Jennings, gave up 11 runs in the first inning.
It was a first for me. I had never seen a team score 11 runs in one inning and I had never seen a pitcher pulled after 2/3rds of an inning sans injury.

I sat in stunned silence. Could this really be happening? I haven't even had my freakin Cracker Jacks and already we were 11-0!

In my silence, I was in the minority. Most of the other fans were booing Jennings off the mound.
It was painful to watch.
Like I've mentioned before, I'm a freaking girl. I get emotional and I wanted to cry for this dude. How nightmarish must it be to stand there in the middle of a baseball diamond, falling apart at the seams while your hometown fans boo you so viciously?

Amazingly, we came back and ended up scoring 11 runs but the Padres stayed one (or more) steps ahead of us and we lost it 18-11.

But that first inning...wow. It's all anyone could talk about for days.
It was like this huge dark cloud hanging over Jennings' head.

Then last night in extra innings against the Braves, when we were nearly out of pinch hitters and relief pitchers, Jason Jennings comes in to pinch hit for Mark McLemore and drives in the winning run.

Does this put Jennings back into the good graces of the Houston fans? I doubt it but for a brief moment he knows what it feels like to be a game hero.