It's obvious that my friend Tammy needs to get a job. I'm not sure what MY excuse is but we've come up with a great marketing idea...
Gay accessories for fag hags.
We'll call it Baby Phag. Move over Kimora Lee Simmons.
The idea started with an innocent IM conversation about an exboyfriend of hers who won't admit that he is INSANELY gay.
You may remember the Lint Brush incident.
I'll post the convo below...
Tammy: I went and hung out with toby
Tammy: toby is gay
Tammy: and I realized toby is not nearly as smart as I originally thought he was
Tammy: or he's getting ready to have a nervous breakdown
Tammy: he wants to move to Kentucky and learn how to play bluegrass music and live in the mountains
Tammy: FOR REAL
Tammy: secretly I think he's hoping to go there for some kind of "deliverance" fantasy.
Tammy: you know, to get the anal
De: he's losing it
De: that's seriously what happens to a personâ€™s brain right before it explodes
De: you are SO his fag hag...that's awesome
Tammy: it's fun!
Tammy: I didn't even have to shave
Tammy: he had good wine
Tammy: no pressure for sex
De: that's what I want
De: I want to never have to shave my legs yet have a decent male around for attention
Tammy: but make sure yours isn't crazy
Tammy: that's a whole other ball of wax
De: well yeah....I don't want my gay going to Kentucky for Blue Grass or creepy mountain sex
Tammy: Iâ€™m so terrible. Instead of being supportive of this stupid decision I mock it because it's stupid
Tammy: I couldn't just say "that sounds great"
Tammy: Iâ€™m a selfish hag
De: umm...you'd be a horrible hag if you supported his decision to do things because his brain is going to explode any day now
De: oh my god! I've got it...
De: I know why he wants to go to Kentucky
De: the state abbreviation is KY
De: that's IT
Tammy: you are a motherfucking genius
De: I know, right?
De: I've got the gays allll figured out
De: now I want one of my own
De: I swear I'll feed him and clothe him in Prada
Tammy: ooh, I wonder if baby phat makes a fag carrier?
Tammy: and charms, you can put charms on your fag!
De: omg I totally want a fag bag!
Tammy: dude, we gotta market this
Tammy: we could make millions
De: we could! Holy crap! Fag accessories
Tammy: fag could be the new dog or baby
De: Screw Kimora
Tammy: no thanks