Friday, April 21, 2006

IrRATional

I know I'm supposed to be working on the research paper.
I'm waiting til the last minute because that's just how I roll.

I have an irrational fear of anything in the rodent family. That would include rabbits (yes...even cute little bunnies! Those bastards will scratch your eyes out), raccoons, rats, mice, ferrets, guinea pigs, hamsters...you name it, I hate it.
I also hate possum. I don't know where the fuck they belong in the animalus genus but my skin literally crawls when I see one.
I imagine their long, sharp talons and their evil razor teeth biting into your flesh.
I hate their strange wiry hair and their long pointed muzzles.
Seeing a possum while I'm out walking the dogs will throw me into a complete panic.
It's crazy......it's irrational...it's me.

Yesterday, I was sitting at a redlight coming into town and I was several cars back.
I was right next to the median that separated the two directions of traffic. The state (or city, who knows?) felt it necessary to plant pretty hedges to soften the look of litter and concrete.
I was gazing into the hedges, deep in thought, when I noticed something moving under the hedge.
I focused in and saw a very large rat, sitting on his evil back legs, nibbling on something with his sharp, evil teeth between his evil front paws.
His large eyes peered into mine. I shivered, momentarily frozen.

Then I checked my doors....you know, to make sure they were locked...

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