and by football, I mean soccer. Specifically, World Cup Soccer. But I want to call it football because that makes more sense.
Why did we name American football...football?
I mean...sure you kick it a few times but you spend more time with it in your hands than you do on your feet.
To the contrary, in soccer, one is rarely supposed to touch the ball with their hands so it makes perfect sense to call a ball you're only supposed to touch with your feet, football.
So, what could we call American football instead?
The ball itself is not really round like a normal ball. Can we call it Oblong?
"My favorite oblong team is the Dallas Cowboys. They are America's oblong team!"
I like it.
But I digress...
The World Cup final was exciting for the first 20 minutes. Then the next 70 minutes found me switching between the game and Dirty Dancing on WB. I have to admit...Patrick Swayze was unbelievably hot back then and Jennifer Grey's nose was hard to look at. She looks amazing now, yet can't seem to get work. What's up with that?
Oh right...World Cup.
After Dirty Dancing was over I turned my full attention to football. I wasn't sure who I wanted to win but I was leaning towards Italy because...well...they're not France.
But then France's captain, the newly announced retiree, fucking HEAD BUTTED an Italian while they weren't even in play. He just turned around after words were exchanged and slammed his own head into this guy's sternum.
He got red-carded and I gave Italy my support and they won!
Ok, so I cried like a bitch when they won. How could you not? I have never seen such unabashed joy in my life.
These guys just won sports greatest achievement (outside of the US) and their happiness is overwhelming.
They all kissed the trophy, they kissed each other (I see a bad case of herpes simplex in their future) and they cried tears of joy.
Brava, Italia! Sorry we don't give a shit here in the US.