Yummy Books

I'm not very knowledgeable about some things but I have completely unfounded opinions on many things.
When you get an e-reader, like the Kindle or the Nook, the first thing you learn about is free and super cheap books. A lot of publishers will put out an e-book for free or for 99cents to "introduce" an author. If you like them, you'll buy his or her full price stuff. I think it's a cool idea. I've discovered some great authors like, Charlie Carillo, when his book "One Hit Wonder" was free for a very short time.
Then there are the Indie authors who publish their own books straight to e-book format without having to go through a big publishing house. In theory, this is a great idea because you discover some great hidden talent....and I have.
The problem is, total and utter crap gets through because they don't have a publishing house editor telling them that "LOL" is not an appropriate way to describe something the narrator is thinking.

I really hate to talk shit about an author's work. I have written things and when someone criticizes my work, they might as well call me fat and ugly and then take a crap on my couch because I take it that personally. But....I can't let this one go.
I purchased a light mystery e-book on the recommendation of another Kindle user. It was very cheap so I figured I didn't have anything to lose except for a dollar or two.
It was a silly fluff piece but it was a cute little story except something about it bothered me. I had the same problem with another book by yet another Indie author. The only way I can think of to describe it is that it was filled with "twee-ness".
Descriptions of the pizza someone ate, or the lip gloss someone swiped on their lips were just a little TOO much. I'm not talking Stephen King descriptives here. This was just too cutesy. Everything was adorable and twee. It was just grating on my nerves. However, I had invested some time in this book and figured I'd stick it out to see who the bad guys really were.
That is until....the author wrote the following sentence:
"I polished off at least six tacos and they were yummy in my tummy."

Seriously??? Seriously. (On a side note...in looking for this sentence to quote, I searched the word "yummy" in the book and I got 6 results. That's 6 too many times she used "yummy".)

I just couldn't go on after that. It was over for me. I draw the line at "yummy in my tummy".
Just. Can't. Go. There.

Everyone Loves a Roadtrip

Unless the roadtrip is 10 hours each way.
For a long ass trip, it actually went by pretty fast. We had iPhones, iPods and Kindles to keep up entertained. Plus, it was THREE sisters traveling together so we had plenty of people things to talk about!

When I was 5, my parents decided to uproot our lives and move us to Mississippi. One sister was already married , one sister was engaged so they got to stay home but one sister was only 16 so she had to go.
We moved to a TINY town where there was one school that housed 1st through 12th grade. I started 1st grade there and my sister finished up her sophomore year and started her junior year there....in the same school. It was weird.

Last weekend was Sister 3's 30 year highschool reunion. She and I planned to go but when Sister 2 heard we were going, she asked if she could tag along.

It was strange to see a place 30 years later. My memories belong to a 6 or 7 year old little girl and I wondered if they would match up to the reality.
In some ways they did. Places were, of course, a lot smaller than I remembered and unfortunately, some places were gone....like the first two houses we rented.

One is now a tree farm and another is a gas plant.

The creek where we use to swim is so much smaller than I imagined but still the same in so many ways.

Surprisingly, we had a good time. Being on the road for 20 + hours in three days is very tiring but the experience was well worth it.

The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

I was on page 2 when I tweeted this: If I had balls, I'd say that this author really grabs you by the balls but since I don't, I'll just say he writes well.
I was talking about Andrew Davidson and The Gargoyle. Those first few pages really grabbed you; with both hands....really big hands.
For a while I couldn't put it down but I did because Mockingjay came out. I mostly blame Mockingjay for knocking me off course but The Gargoyle became a little too long.
So, this guy was a porn star, drug user and all around not-so-very-nice guy. He gets into a HORRIBLE car accident and it's chilling the way he describes the crash...absolutely chilling.

He's burned beyond recognition but somehow still survives. He literally loses everything but then he meets Marianne in the hospital and he's drawn to this mysterious woman.
She knows him but not in this incarnation, she says.

Figuring out who Marianne is, who the narrator is...well...it takes an awful long time and for a while I stopped caring.
Inside the story are more stories and for a long while I wondered what the hell those stories had to do with the book but finally it all came together.
I mean...FINALLY.

Don't get me wrong, I'd recommend The Gargoyle to most people. It's very unusual and beautifully written. Davidson weaves a romantic yet tragic tale and obviously did a lot of research. Believe it or not, this is his debut novel.
I'll be looking for more from this author.

Short Attention Span Blogging

• I'm in mourning. Baseball season ended for me on Sunday. These last few days I've felt sort of empty and lost. I didn't realize how much I've been involved in baseball this year. It's going to be a long 5 months.


• I am thankful to a complete stranger on Facebook. I went to the game on Saturday and it was a perfect night (except for the fact that the Astros lost). The roof was open, the weather was glorious...just a wonderful night for baseball. I woke up Sunday morning regretting the fact that I didn't get tickets for Sunday's game - the last game of the season. I was moping around the house for a while, then got on Facebook and saw a post from an Astros fan who had tickets she wasn't using. After trading emails, she sent the tickets to me and I had 20 minutes to make it to the game. I barely had any make up on and my hair was still wet in the back but I made it to the game and enjoyed amazing seats and perfect weather...oh and an Astros win!


• I'm angry about this story: http://bit.ly/9UxtU9 Firefighters watched as a man's home burned down with his pets inside because the man forgot to pay his municipal fees. How is this even ok? What kind of heartless people allowed this to happen?


• Still loving my Kindle. I have read so many books since getting it. I don't know what it is but I read faster on the device. I have tons of book reviews to get to. I'll get to those soon.


• I'm going on a road trip with two of my sisters. When I suggested we bring a small cooler for some water and snacks, Sister 3 said she was bringing a bottle of wine because we'll be staying in a dry county. I said in that case, we'd need a bigger cooler. Sister 2 asked if it was too late to back out.

Local Celebrity

That's me. I hit the big time when I wrote a guest column for the local paper. It even featured my picture which is totally scary!

It was a work related article about the work I'm doing with kids and journaling.
More like an advertisement for the program than anything.
But it was kind of neat having my name in the byline.

That morning, at work, I get a call from a man who had read my article and wanted to know more about the program. When we determined that he was too old, I explained that I would love to get a program together for adults but it's difficult to get them to attend evening programs.
He was a nice guy, though. He started telling me about how he has so much to write about; so many memories.
For example, one time in high school, he and some friends went out to the beach and built a bonfire out of patio furniture that belonged to a friend's parents and also he and his friends filled up a trash can with jungle juice and got drunk.

This all sounded so familiar and suddenly it hit me: I was one of those drunk friends. I screamed the callers name into the phone. He was a good friend from high school and he just punked me.

Suddenly, I realized the pitfalls of being famous: I have way too many skeletons in my closet!

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

My Kindle was a gift from my sister. She bought a 2nd generation Kindle a while back, loved it so much that when the newest one came out, she ordered it and gave her "old" one to me.
Lucky little sister, aren't I?
She left a whole library of books on the Kindle for me. Most of them are things I'll never read because she enjoys self-help books and buys a lot of them.
However, she had a copy of Sh*t My Dad Says and I was shocked. This is not her style at all!
I follow Justin's @shitmydadsays account on twitter so obviously this is my style.

From B&N:

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him

This book was short and a really funny read. Justin's dad doesn't hold back...ever. He has very little patience and a quick wit that probably made him a lot of enemies but the way Halpern writes about his father is from love. You can tell even though he's saying things like,

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

it's obvious that he loves his sons and he's just trying to knock some sense into them!

Read this one. You'll be wishing you were this funny!

PS: Sh*t My Dad Says is now a sitcom on CBS starring William Shatner. I'm not sure anyone could do the real dad justice but I'll watch anyway.

Astros & Social Media

Twice now, I've been lucky enough to attend the social media events hosted by the Astros and Alyson Footer, the Senior Digital Media Director.
For an amazing price, you're treated like a VIP with an early bird tour, batting practice viewing from the Diamond Club, seats in the Budweiser patio in center field, a t-shirt, trivia games with a featured player (Hunter Pence & Chris Johnson so far), popcorn, drinks, dinner and dessert. Plus, we get to watch the game with other twitter-using fans.
It's simply the best way to watch a game!

At the second event, I was lucky enough to win during the trivia contest. I got to meet and have my picture taken with Chris Johnson, the Astros' 3rd baseman and I received a signed Craig Biggio bronze bust.
I was so surprised and excited that I didn't care how ridiculous I looked standing there smiling next to this gorgeous young major league baseball player.
Later, when I saw the pictures, I regretted it.

My mother loves the Astros and she LOVES going to the games. Of course, I had to bring her with me and she has just had the best time. At the first one, she got to meet and have her picture taken with Jim Deshaies whom she loves. She got to sit in Drayton McLane's seat during BP which was a thrill.
At the most recent event, she got to sit right next to the bullpen and watch all the pitchers warm up.
She became friends with the manager of the FiveSeven Grill and he sent her home with some baseball goodies.

The fact that my 71 year old mother can still get around and experience fun times like these makes me so happy. I'm praying that I can continue to offer her the opportunity to do things like this. When you're 71 years old, you deserve to only have happy moments in life.